Pure, white blanket that lies on the valley
Oh, how you can betray!
You hide it all with all you’re innocents.
But the spring will came and melt you away!
No whiteness to cover it up
The crimson blood will shine threw
Bestowing the truth on the eyes that were to blind to see.
Oh, Pure, white blanket that lies on the valley
You betray us all!
A contest entry
- here's to the losers II by risewiththesmoke.
300 points, ended June 7, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is WONDERFUL! You are a true original poet. Don't write poetry unlss you can keep this level of inspiration, and you will be the next great classic poet. Seriously, this is original, every line is gorgeous in it's word choice, in it's thought behind it, in it's creativity. The rhyme you sneek in there is just perfect, it's universal, the attractivemness and symetry and variedness of the lines is just great- this is simply beautiful. I hope you find a contest to put this in cause it' a sure winner. I do notice on this site that contest holders really get blinded by oictures and background- to them that's as important as the words themselves, so you may want to consider that- but this is really good.
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i love it
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wow, very interesting view and message, told in a powerful voice. thanks for entering!!
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