I sit here cold and lonely
In this bitter morgue
These frozen tears fall and shatter
Salty shards of bitter sorrow
Full of memories and pain
Wishing you were mine and mine alone
Nostalgia overtakes my broken frame as I falter
Stumble into retrogression
And in the static of the room do I hear my tale retold
Endlessly, we danced this dance
Freedom smiled in our eyes
Scarred eyes blinded us to the stars
So we reached out and took hold of their beauty together.
What was said to have been real, I know not of what you speak
This sullen figure before you weeps bitterly
Wounded souls won’t heal
When pains keep raining down
This holy ghost of misery
Cries a broken hallelujah to the world
But have I said too much?
Will no one weep for me?
Is this premonition or retrospection?
Time cannot heal these wounds
Yet ne’er do I complain
Where jilted lovers profess their love
They claim willingness to face their doom
They can not walk that fragile line
And exchange their lives for those they adore
They live not up to their softly spoken whispers
And so these whispers fade and die
I recall a time in which I breathed
I promised love ‘til death
And death lay here beside me now
His laughter shakes the cold steel I lay upon
I fulfilled my faint and solemn vow.
For you, my ever undying love, I promised I’d do anything
Executed before your feet, I have exhausted my plea
I pray you do the same for me, yet prayers help me not here
Upon your liar’s chair will you forever sit?
Wear your crown of broken thoughts and do not condescend.
I love you now, forever and for all of time
You will stay with me in death, as you claimed to be in life
This illusion of a companion will be my only reward
My betrayer, my regret, my hate, my loss,
My love, my friend…
Author notes
Option #1
A contest entry
- Options 4 All - Only 1 Winner by zhaniswolf.
715 points, ended June 21, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - oh, to just disappear... by CarCrashHumor.
1500 points, ended August 15, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this was very sad
abandonment.
"I love you now, forever and for all of time
You will stay with me in death, as you claimed to be in life" -
DO NOT REPLY PLEASE
very wonderful poem. it is obvious that you love this person enough to die for them, and it was obvious that you did however much your love appreciated it or not. good job and good luck.
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scared eyes or scarred eyes?
"Wounded souls won’t heal
When wounds keep raining down"
I like the first sentence...
in the second I'd replace the word "wounds"--
do wounds rain down?
When ______ keep raining down
("This holy ghost of misery
Cries a broken hallelujah to the world
But have I said too much?
Will no one weep for me?")---very good!
And death lay here beside me now
His laughter shakes the cold steel I lay upon
I fulfilled my ________ and solemn vow."--I'd use another word, not quelled which comes from "to kill"
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Yea I knew when I submitted it that I had some work to do...It still doesn't seem quite perfect. Thank you for your helpful criticism.
I changed a few things...not many, mostly the ones you specified.
Thank you.
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