Let the records play,
let music fill the halls,
as those glamorous sequined dresses,
bathed in perfume, and decked in diamonds,
enter via the staircase, with their penguin suited suitors,
looking plump and prim at their sides.
Dawn the masks of fineness,
humanity in it's truest form,
insincere and hiding what it really is,
digitalis fills the air as the masquerade takes on,
a more sinister role, a more, perfect role,
a representation of humanity in all it's ugly glory.
A stench of decay soon fills the dance floor,
as partners, stained equally in blood,
never washed from their hands, take to the floor,
this, is the ugliest revelation,
the fact that humanity, is quite complacent,
in it's personification of hiding, like a sheep in wolfs clothing.
And when the night comes to a close,
and the dance floor begins to settle and clear,
those couples, those participants in the nights events,
gather their belongings and head for home,
leaving their masks with the man at the door,
and yet walking out, still wearing them.
Author notes
Just some feelings put to paper
In a list
A contest entry
- No Title: Just Come Have a Look by I-Am-Custard.
900 points, ended July 5, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - biggest contest in allpoetry history! (i hope) need 1,000 entries!! by Gasp.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 638 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Save Me! (My Favorites ONLY!) by Celticmoon.
700 points, ended February 29, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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what a great observation on both humanity and the masquerade ball itself. really well written and the last line packs a real punch.
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wow,
im really into the whole olden days stuff right now. and masquerade balls fall right into that catergory.
this was,
amazing
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Your poetry is amazing, I really should read it more often.
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To wear a mask, remove it and still be wearing one...
so true this is for almost everyone. Even when we think and believe we aren't we often still are. Love how you wove this one from word one to the close. I could clearly imagine this entire event happening.
Thank you for entering.
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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this was ne of the first poems I read when I joined AP & I still love it <3
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Ain't that the truth!
This a frank piece about human kind most often than not.Great work!
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this is real good. first word of the first line of the second stanza should be "don."
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Great job. very well written and apart from doing the same as many and using tons of commas it was a very intense poem and portrays the truth of humanity. well written, keep writing and thanks for sharing. xXx
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to hide behind a mask so no one sees your emotions is where I am right now
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The only fault I can find in this compelling piece is that there is an over-abundant use of commas. That aside, I liked the way you used similie to convey a point I wholeheartedly agree with.
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Great job. I love it! It really portrays the truth about humanity, how we all put on airs in front of other people...... How we hide the truths about ourselves to make others think kindly of us. I love the imagery, the metaphor use. You seriously did well with this one, E.S!
Akasha
Keep writing more, please!!!
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Very, truly and surely a brilliant poem that makes me want so much to post it on Poetry Planet. May I? It is the blog I run for a newspaper in California, USA. You can find it at thereporter.com and then look for Blog Central and Poetry Planet. We get hundreds of his a day... and our readers who fly to The Planet would love this smart poem!
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In the beginning of the poem, I wasn't quite sure if I would like it, simply because I wasn't sure it was clear enough. However, I ended up liking it greatly. My favorite part was the last bit::
"leaving their masks with the man at the door,
and yet walking out, still wearing them."
Really great job, good luck in the contest.
: ]
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Amazing
How well you have shown how people live behind their masks. I enjoyed the line "hiding, like sheep in wolf's clothing," and thought it fit perfectly
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This is like the 5th time I have come back to read this poem. It is just amazing in every sense of the word. I know I already left you a comment, but you really deserve another one, and some more applause. I am definetly favoriting you as a poet. <33
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I like this. Reminds me a lot of one of mine, it's called Tuxedo
*hint hint* =) -
I am going to agree with Raven Judge on this one. I loved 'penguin suited suitors' and the last line. Great end to the poem.
Jesse -
To be honest, I was not completely sure what I was going to think of this poem (in the thumbs up / thumbs down sense) until I reached the very last line. The penultimate obersvation in this piece is a perfect pitch for your point (and I'll throw in a nod to "penguin suited suitors" which gave me a smile as well).
I really enjoyed the faux festive nature of this piece which is gallantly and purposefully written tongue-in-cheek as to be part mocking and part observing. In that sense you manage to keep your credibility throughout as this never crosses the line into polemic territory.
If I am to properly understand this piece that I am to agree with it, but I can't help but think that I am reading a bit inbetween the lines for my own purposes. I see here an observation on the absurdity of how we live our day to day lives, that is, in complete and purposeful ignorance of the events transpiring in the world around us. To say, perhaps, that we are becoming the cliche - sheep.
This piece is very difficult to dislike. Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
I absolutely loved the first stanza of this though I must say the quality did seem to drop after it.
This line:
'digitalis fills the air as the masquerade takes on,
a more sinister role, a more, perfect role,'
particularly bothered me, there's far too much punctuation in it (and believe me when I say how rarely I say this to people), if you read it, aloud, it reads, like, this... It's annoying.
If the whole poem were as good as the first stanza this would definitely have been a finalist. -
Wow. I love this. I am so impressed with you talents! I wish I could write like this. It seems like I am a slave to rhyming everything I write...so nothing gets quite as good as your stuff. I wish I could write mmore you like you. You are truly amazing. The way you convey your thoughts so eloquently onto paper [or computer in this case], just astounds me. Your vocabulary is amazing and really adds to your poetry as well.
The last line is so powerful. You seem to have a knack for pointing out truths about humans, about humanity. The truths that so many of us would love to kick under the rug. You bring them out, you show them, and force us all to examine ourselves.
Amazing work.
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Thank you very much for the wonderful comment
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Great write!! The end was pure brilliance
Love the metaphores and description. Keep it up
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I feel like I'm experiencing a scene from 18Th century London. I watch the idiots dancing in the gloom and the smoke resin halls.
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haha nice end!!!! i really like the images they are so rich and vibrant in a dark, spechtral way!!!
well done P =] x
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Exquisite
I love how you set the scene for a masquerade ball where no masks seem to be worn physically and I like the subterfuge it brings
This is a really wonderful poem, I like it a lot!
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Humanity divests its masks when it wants to be seen, its fifteen minutes of fame, but mostly it hides behind the crime of ignorance. You have played this out so well as a masquerade ball. I very much enjoyed this and the thoughts you portray. Love, C
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Indeed
People have so many layers, now more than ever, that are never seen. I enjoyed that aspect of this poem and its messages were presented nicely. Keep up the good work
Creatress
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Gorgeous write. You took a much overused idea of "the masks" and made it completely new.
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Nice
Man this is just quite anothe rincredibley penned poem here bro. jsut an all round kick butt awesome poem about feeling aqnd e-motions that are built through out this poem. I really loved the way you just went with this poem and just really penned this well. keep up the very good work -
It's pretty amazing that "those glamorous sequined dresses, bathed in perfume, and decked in diamonds" can look so beautiful to the untrained eye... the eye of one who only sees on the surface and doesn't know what really lies beneath it all. Great poem Phillip. Unfortunately there are far too many individuals who could fit the form within this poem very well. I like the imagery here but most of all I like that feeling of a deep cleansing purge as I read through the lines. Excellent!
♥ Touchof1der
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