battle cries of troy
achilles’ answered,
patrolcus’ was killed by hector
overwhelmed in grief,
he met hector in battle
took his time,
in killing him
vengeance was his answer
desecrating hectors body,
dragging it behind his chariot
parading it for all to see -
before the walls of troy
hidden in disguise
king priam begs achilles,
“please release my sons body”
he knew his end was near,
for his fight had given out
paris’ arrow struck his heel -
his only venerability.
the arrow was guided by apollo’s hand
and vengeance
mt. Olympus opened
zeus’s rage could be felt
carrying achilles home
his bleeding body was mourned
in his honor,
he was set in the stars
….so that all would remember the tale of achilles
Author notes
Icarus
This poem ws amazing in content and its imagery.
Told from the tale of the God's, Achilles did not pay heed to his warning. But instead flew off with lust on his mind. Price had to be paid, even a love for a fait maiden with golden hair.
Wonderful imagery that tells a story of the picture so well.
A contest entry
- PICTURE INSPIRED by Arkbear.
300 points, ended June 28, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like achilles I've drawn him in art classes. well my version of it~ I enjoyed your write! You did a great job~ Good luck in the contest!
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Oooo! I like it!
This was a neat little poem! I hope you do well in the contest!!! Get the gold!!! This flowed really well, and could probably be made into a song, it sounded awesome!!!
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A very well wrought restoration of myth and fable that was a pleasure to read as always. Best of luck in the contest.
David
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Very good
I enjoy history and myth very much and how it's seemingly wrought by struggle, heroism and romanticism. This was a truly enjoyable read, great job!
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Dang
This is one super powerful and very well penned poem and I really loved how you just let yourself go with this poem. excellent work all ropund and best of luck in the contest
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too close to the sun...
We may soar too close to the sun
but soon will come the night
and we will both be done
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Excellent
Oh my what a wonderful poem. Very well done. A great use of the story. Good luck in the contest.
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one of my favourite stories and you have brought it to life today. thank you for sharing this impressive write with me. viyanna rosemarie
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OUTSTANDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STUNNING WRITING, AND I DON'T SAY THAT LIGHTLY. THIS IS BRILLANT. THE FLOW THE, PASSION, THE CLASS BEHIND THIS PIECE IS QUITE OUTSTANDING. THE MYTH REALLY RAN THROUGHT THIS PIECE AND I LOVED EVERY PART OF IT. WONDERFUL WRITING. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF THIS, SIE.
KEEP WRITING.
WAYNE
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You did very well in getting such a well known myth across - I really like the play you made on venerability and vulnerability referring to achilles heel - very clever.
The flow of the piece seemed a little stuttered but there was a certain mythical air to it which fit very well with the subject!
The ending was excellent - the legend goes on!
One point on spelling - 'heal' should be heel! And also I found that without capitalization, even after stops makes it look a little like one looooooong sentance and may put some off reading it. -
a great classic legend
well this is my favorite story of the greek classics, mighty Achilles at Troy. His feats and bravery deserved a better master, but his name has lived for thousands of years. So very well done here with a passion for the adventure, wonderful expression from a wonderful story teller... PK
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You tell it better than most friend, beautifully done and so inspired. Love, C
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