alas, foul spirit
departing,
a frigid wind
wrapped
within my pallid skin.
alas.
and whence you came
so do you return
a wraith
slithering from alley to alley
shivering with obscene desire
littering my placid existance
with your extensive storm,
sweating in my memory
with your exquisite form,
alas
at last alone,
too short the torture
that you left
wrapping heaven and hell
in your empty glance.
I've been in love before,
I'll forget you quick enough
(Click)
Author notes
Written August 6th, 2003
In a list
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see told ya, enough i haven't read . ."return the favor" button brought me to friday but it's really saturday. but ya know .. foul spirit, rancor those were in your most recent, so was sweat (lots of sweat sweet in lute poems) .. plus i used slithery recently twice as well, oh point of all this, about 1000 good poem words. hope the "click" cured the sufferring of this one .. my goodness.
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"littering my placid existance
with your extensive storm"
My insides qwake, it would seem that fate, had so much instore, for a poor heart that is shattered every time she finds my door...
(or window, or telephone..or computer screen ("click") )...
And then she's gone.
Love is a friendship that cared too much...lol
I loved this one too Lute.
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...I'm not exactly sure what would "seem rather obvious"
"Wrapping heaven and hell" - I liked that image, seemed to fit the language very well as religious imagery was way more vital "back in the day" - like the way the Victorian poets used to talk about decorating heaven with their lovers image and stuff... I know that this language is a little earlier than that used in the Victorian movement but still, it correlates. Pretty authentic and I respect that - I don't really like the sound of middle English because I love modern too much - but this poem's very pretty and you've done it justice. Some people attempt to use older language but do it craply, if it's going to be done then it has to be done well or what the hell is the point? You've done it well. Or maybe the voice is using the language ironically, I don't know - but I cant totally imagine some guy drunk or tripping, pouring this poem to his girlfriend from the window - trying to impress her with the language or the context- when all that really impresses her is the fact that he would bother.
Lovely word selections - slithering and shivering
ah,
yummy.
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yes...that would seem rather obvious. click
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