Wanting to die
So I can forever fly
Bleeding more and more
So I can get my chance to soar
This feeling comes and goes
And it completly blows
I'm tired of feeling this way
Tired of always knowing just what to say
To travel into a girls heart
When relationships always and sour
Now is the time and this is the hour
One of these times i'll get taken to court
Dads don't like their daughters dating
The freaks in eyeliner and all black clothing
I do have my ability with words going for me
Could talk a fat kid out of his cookie
Wish i could talk myself out of death
To fixated for my own good
Want to die in a blood bath
Not to be remembered by this world
A contest entry
- Outcasts and Underdogs (For poets with less than 5 trophies) by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended June 6, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness Resurrection by Ninth-Poet.
573 points, ended June 24, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - { depression/ suicide} by Angel Eyed Baby.
702 points, ended December 22, 2008, 67 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I don't like the grammar used. You should reread the sentences. I thought this poem was interesting. I didn't like the flow too much seems some parts were forced like the last stanza. Nic e job overwell the rhyming worked well. creative
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I really like the last 2 stanzas of this, the irony of the humorous last line transitioning to the tragic first line hits me quite powerfully.
"Could talk a fat kid out of his cookie
Wish i could talk myself out of death"
Nice poem. Good luck!
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This is good. I liked it... I was talked out of death last nite...btw.... who cares.... the poem was well wrote I really liked it... good job and good luck as well.
<3 Autumn!
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Emotionally Grabbbing
This piece of artful literature immerses the read in intense emotions that left me personally in a cold vulnerable place. This piece reminded me of my mental philosophy of a couple years ago.
-Keep the ink flowing!
-Good luck in the contest!
-Sage of the east -
This is very intense and sad to read. I don't know what to say, only I hope everything goes well for you always. I did very much appreciate your poem though. Thanks so much for entering my contest, and best of luck.
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Wow... I've never felt like this before... I.. I wanna hug you. >.< Make it stop!
(btw, great poem!)
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i wish i could talk myself out of death too . . . . .
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