This -
dead bird on lawn,
unperched in song-less decay,
one wing folded, one stretched,
gilt with busy ooze of decomposition;
the glass trinkle of water;
headless doll on a street,
beneath a derelict Buick,
arms and legs akimbo,
naked -
is a poem.
A contest entry
- Repel - Experimental Poetry by cvillelisa.
450 points, ended June 24, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites. by Melissa Gayle.
700 points, ended December 22, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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How can I ever critique you, you by far and away out write me!
This is no different. I really like the brevity to it as well -
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Bull. Thanks, but, bull. Merry Christmas, Melissa.
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You made me think of my day of a few hours ago.
I took a walk today into the woods. On the path I saw a frog beginning its decomposition - with flies to aid. It wasn't roadkill; it was unusual. I took a picture.
I like your poem.
-Zack -
Buicks is my favorite poem cars. red 53's of course being unsurpassed in their huge bulbuness, that is massive bumpy curves and chrome. Alas, alas, those days are gone. what we got? acuras & Legends. all sleeky sleek and efficient.
and dead birds.
Since there is no muse; what collision of synapse (newwordmeheehee) towards synapse would cause the subsequent arrival of magic? where then is the magic? what magic! surely not in a littered lawn with a buick on bricks!
And yet, tis so, since I am here and not there, and it is only a poem.hen
why then should I smell death, the taste of old seats and rugs, and see the face of a little girl?
I don't know. do you?
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akimbo is a great word!
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derelict Buick sounds so good together.
there is something about abandoned dolls that is very eerie to me.
perfect example of why i hate the generalization don't write about pomes.
(almost could take off the last line - because your title is poem and just leave the images hanging painted in the readers mind like a poem, cause it is one.)
like it. thanks for coming out to experiment.
lisa -
I like this. The imagery is clear and sharp.
The framing of the poem within line one and last line Is great. One thing i would say is 'arms and legs akimbo' is a bit weak, it is a funny phrase, makes me think the bird is drunk not dead. One of the best poems
I have read on this site so far ( not hear that long).
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"unperched in song-less decay,
one wing folded, one stretched"
Vivid, intense imagery. Profound & powerfully succinct. I don't envy Lisa at all, my Friend. 
Wanda
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I kind of like this.
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yes it is...
this looks to be an interesting contest. I just came from Mary's piece and found it stunning... and then clicked here to find another stunning piece of "rebel" poetry.
yeah!
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Well done...
and it is..
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Wowee, Scott, this is so different from you, yet so you (if that makes any sense at all). I love when I read something totally unexpected from you. There a so many contrasting themes in this (headless doll, glass trinkle of water), much like the orange against the black background you have used here. Love it, love you.
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