"Focus", my dad says, " I need you to come hold this."
Another humid Saturday afternoon in a small garage helping my father build his boat, would have driven any other 14 year old girl crazy.
The blood, sweat, and fatigue, I gave to that boat (to my father)
Holds within me, a profound sense of strength and accomplishment,
Every time I remember constructing and fixing that ugly heavy gray dinghy.
Real life is the gaining of knowledge, and my father gave me plenty.
A contest entry
- Of Men and Fathers by J.J. Sass.
1750 points, ended June 12, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This piece shows another side, what I actually thought would have been the more common reflection of a dad: the snapshot of a tough, skill-oriented relationship that still holds a valued meaning.
The only thing I'd like to point out about this is the use of too many adjectives (especially in the second to last line). You could try using different words as a fresh way of conveying the same image, only allowing the reader's mind to be more active in the process.
Thanks for entering, and best wishes.
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so very nice
so very nice, a shared experience, tedium has no doubt given way to the shared time and values...well done here, with feeling...PK
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& his daughter
Is acharm. Both you & your dad are lucky to have each other. A fine write &ty for your kind comment on my poem
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