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Wilt

 

When the games begin

and the screams come and go

scaled silences and a thousand

- I said so's


In the lounge, the chess board sits
on the table
counters & men are strewn

around the floor;
newspapers pretend to be read
- they hate the daily grind
  the news of today, tomorrow

  and lost little girls,

  and crying women and hideous
  crimes




Crimes of willingness to commit
to expand, deflate and expire
beyond the date of rehab

beyond detox;


the screams can be heard up Oldham Rd
and past Piccadilly,
the phone boxes are locked & loaded
to fizz up the arm and irritate ears
and the fear of man
passing by
and the crying women,

vagabonds, vagrants
& cunts, that sit on the curbs



Waiting and the willing or will nots
wilt like the dead lettuce & slugs
by the Tib Street barra-boys

empty, empty carts




 

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27
  • dandelioness
    June 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    a shot of sobriety o so good by you
    i like it i like it !!!


  • Elfin
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love it, love it, love it.
    Does that explain how I feel about this poem? and what's more these are my streets, my roads, my newspaper stories. *exclaim* A great poem nursechilly, one of the best that I have read today. Val


  • cvillelisa
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    Of course I know who this is. If this is experimental by you -- do it more. Visual and visceral and good. Like Mary said it pours down the page in some thick goop that we are not supposed to be drawn to but definitely are drawn to.

    Love it. Especially the wilting lettuce and slugs and the part about the newspapers reading themselves. I'm happy you went with it ...

    Lisa


    • NurseChilly gold member
      June 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks Lisa... this sorta splurted out.. so i left it pretty much as it came out..

      only corrected my spellings... and there it was... a shot of whiskey detoxing...


      thanks hun...


  • Nicolette gold member
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful images here, so vivid and clear - it feels as if I was there. Of coure you know these scenes so well, but you can go beyond the sights and the sounds and give us the lives, the fears, the intentions.

    Simply great poetry about the other side of life. Loved this. A for the nurse...

    ~ Nicolette


    • NurseChilly gold member
      June 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks Nicci... you know the subject matter too.. so you know how it can turn the wheel

      thank you my friend


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    June 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    these poems are a cross between Max Headroom and film noir(e)?
    they are a bit like a movie, an independant film made in the Blade Runner world.

    I like them
    vivid as black and white can be

    and the spooky thing is that they are real

    no movie

    keep depressing me, Nurse

    please

    • NurseChilly gold member
      June 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      golly gee... thanks David.. wow

      i'm ing... as that is a real great compliment about this piece and where it stems from.. it is quite a dark area and grey and dulled by life and times

      thank you D... as always... your words are lovely


  • B2oH
    June 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah.....the detox lounge....where odors linger on, intent and false promises stood in the corners. Dusty. Drab. Gray and dull.

    The scene is one of uncaring chaos and life interupted...of an existence without care. Where hope is forlorn, if grasped at all.

    This is life. In all its reality mixed with chemicals that purport to make one 'feel alive!' or to provide the escape from the surroundings. But life always returns and one can never escape the screams.

    This is hell....completely real and metaphorically speaking...and one we carry with us in the choices made. Heaven is always so elusive and here.....it is beyond reach.

    Superb imagery. Puke green and dust gray. Black and white. And a sickly brown.



  • Cat gold member
    June 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    yeah, this is just really good- very clear images and very topical- it pours down the page like whiskey.
    very good writing-
    m


    • NurseChilly gold member
      June 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much Miss Moo.. your eye is always keen and beautiful too...

      a whiskeyshot of detox

  • tara wilson gold member
    June 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Loved it


  • Dragons Lady
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Speechless. The imagery is so sharp and vivid. The words almost cutting. This was truly a great write. I read it with my mouth open I'm sure at the stark images created. Good luck in the contest.


  • Hoosierpoet silver member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Kind of a sad commentary on the times in which we live - and the depths to which so many have sank.
    Powerful words and phrases.

    Hoosier

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    >


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    < -- is just going to sit back and smile...

    see how good it feels when you shoot that little *c*sucker in the head, that one carrying around the should box..

    see...there oughta be a law against those but no one can figure out how to write it without using the word - should..




  • Kathryn Bowden
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I don't know exactly what it is about this piece, but it really drew me in. I enjoyed reading it!

  • Rowan gold member
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very very good.
    Loved that ending.
    Sharp writing.


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    how much coffee are you drinking woman...lol

    your output has been prolific and extremely polished, love the references and sounds in this piece. it is alive...

    not sure what the contest calls for, not sure if anyone knows, but this is a damn good piece....



    al


  • ca ne fait rien
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You seem to have gone into another gear altogether with this one.
    The beginning stanza with the atmosphere created, followed close on by the visuals of the second had me both in an actual and a metaphorical place- and psssst I didn't know whose poem it was when I started reading. It was only at #4 I realised.


  • mkincaid1985
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    good one

    i loved the words you used through the poem. and i like the word cunt. lol un like misselaineous .

  • Mattchoo
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    and the crying women,
    vagabonds, vagrants
    & cunts, that sit on the curbs

    WOW you put so well into words, the thoughts and feelings associated with this. I feel like there's something to rebuff. Like I should try and stick up for human nature, but the wind is out of my sails. I really love this poem! Thank you for sharing it!



  • misselaineous
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    bravo bravo poetess

    i applaud any picadilly poem reference with vigour and aplomb

    so many clever references here for those that know manchester - god did i marry a manc? oops oh yeah i did

    slug and lettuce - gin and it?
    sorry hun - too much red wine and the need for a good slap!
    and you used the c*^t word which always repels me
    elaine


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Crimes of willingness to commit
    to expand, deflate and expire"

    Stark, dark & powerful, my Friend...Good luck in Lisa's contest, Sweetie... Wanda


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    dropping off the funny yellow guys ..

    will be back to ..comment..

    yay you! ..


    • NurseChilly gold member
      June 5, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      funny yellow guys are grand

      - and this spurted out like a spurty thing.. must be night shifts...

      raw

1 - 27 of 27