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(its right here)

You're awake, just get out of bed. 
Those aren’t your dreams, its déjà vu.




Wideopen mind-stumbler, to lose your sight
You must cross the furthest horizon
(its right here).
Free fall, tumbledown twister, and feel the absence of solids,
Where is UdoPwLnEFrighTt?
Where are you?

You have fallen into Freedom.
A universe of Absence.

This is a twistyturny land, and the sober man is barred:-
If anyone asks, just say you're a sufi!
!!Get High!! Fill yourself with Love's liquer.

Let love light its candle on your brow;
See with that third eye, and know vision is blind.
Your eyes are fools, to them matter is solid,
but it's nonstop flux! Only Love is firm.

And this is the true nature of Love-
Let go of your self.
Hear no-sound cheer as you enter the gate!
You have joined the Deamangles of life
around the throne of Dog.

So wander here, in this empty fullness.
Life is all around you - Look!
You are in the Sultan's Palace,
The pearly gates have swung wide.
Where is samsara and where is nirvana?
Beyond the farthest horizon 
(its right here).

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • Fife4
    July 30, 2007

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    I get a very real feeling that the poem takes place in a cluttered mind and that the thoughts jump around so much that the reader, in a sense, shares the insanity with the writer...a form of spreading the madness. Very well done!


  • still.she.waits
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love this piece, i really don't know how to state it anyway else. this reminds me of thoughts, I know it does not make sense, but i love this so much.

    • Lugh
      July 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much! Im glad you enjoyed it! Most poems i love i couldnt give a reason, so dont you worry!


  • quantumsurveyor
    July 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Is the protagonist drunk or high or where? I liked the jumble of Updownleftright it so well fitted the piece. For the rest I wanted to like it all yet somehow it didn't connect with me. Brillant use of words and non-words. Thanks for the read.
    Donald


  • Star-of-David
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This has to one of the weirdest and most wonderful pieces I have ever read. Its so much different to that what I am used to reading, and I like it when things are different Well Done.

    SaintJimmy


  • MissPennyLane
    July 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is an incredible piece. There were parts where I had to do a double take as to what was going on in the piece; but by making the reader take an extra second to think about what you were saying; you left a very lasting impact.

    I'm not sure about the all capitals on "GET HIGH", all caps almost always feels awkward to me in poetry though; so that could be just my wacky opinion.

    I loved how you stated that vision is blind; it made me refer to the cave analogy; are you familiar with that?

    This was amazing, and left me with a lot to think about. Thanks for sharing : ).

    Amanda

    • Lugh
      July 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much! It means alot to get such lovely comments! this one is one of my favs, and im glad you liked! I know exactly what you mean by the Capital thang, but i find it hard to get extra emphasis across when im already using too many exclamation points!...............
      actually, i might just write it like this

      !!Get High!!.....

      What do you reckon to that?

      • MissPennyLane
        July 10, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        hmm; maybe, even instead of the exclamation points, use brackets to make it stick out
        [[Get high]]
        or
        ((get high)).


        and maybe if you want it to stick out even greater; make it into it's own stanza, so that readers know how to focus on it.


  • Poetdontknowit
    June 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WHOA

    This is some deeeeeep stuff ya got going on here!!!! I am positive that it fits in this contest perfectly. Hope ya get a trophy! sweet
    POETDONTKNOWIT


  • ibsons hysops
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is really awsome! i like the way you have incorporated your thoughts with this one so well in imagery as well as expressions and theme and mood and feelings,,.

1 - 10 of 10