She had always loved him, the way he could always make her smile with nothing more than a minute of his time. Acting just how he wanted, never dressing to impress. Listening to music he loved because he loved it, and not because anyone else told him too. Writing poems on the back of doors and leaving post-it notes with philosophies on scattered around. Her best friend in the whole world, that’s why she could never tell.
He had always loved her, the way she could always make him smile with nothing more than a minute of her time. Acting just how she wanted, and always dressing to impress. Listening to music she loved because she loved it, and sometimes because he told her too. Writing columns for the school paper and leaving book reports in his locker so he never had to read the whole thing. His best friend in the whole world, that’s why he could never tell.
For her eighteenth birthday, he gave her a collection of things he knew she would love. A comic book, a couple of seven-inch singles and a mix tape with songs he loved and wanted her to hear. She wrote a poem on the back of his homeroom door to say thank you, and he passed her a note during English to say she was welcome.
They spent almost all their time together, laughing at plastic humans and their plastic relationships. They talked about poetry and books, records they loved and artists they hated. They quoted Poe in the lunchroom and Mineral in gym class. They smiled at kids who stared them out for dancing together by their lockers, and were so in love, but neither of them could ever tell.
Spring dance, and as always, they were going together. Not because they couldn’t get another date, but because neither of them wanted to go with anyone else. She decided she would tell him tonight.
She dressed up, like she always did, and he dressed down to prove a point. He picked her up at seven-thirty, and told her she looked amazing, and drove to the function in his moms old pick up to prove a point. Plastic humans lined up at the door. Some were drunk and dancing against each other holding bottles of champagne from the back of their hundred-dollar-an-hour limousines, spilling it on their hundred-dollar-an-hour tuxedoes. The girls wore ball gowns that made them look like meringues. She laughed and he laughed and the plastic humans spat champagne at them and they laughed harder and ignored it. He decided he would tell her tonight.
They danced until three am, ignoring the lights when they were switched on, ignoring the cleaners mopping up plastic puke from the plastic humans who drank too much, ignoring the teachers and the parent chaperones ushering everyone to the door, ignoring the whole world, for it was only them. And still, neither of them could tell.
They drove to the golf course instead of home, and they sat on the green and she finished off a bottle of champagne they had found abandoned outside. She was tired, so put her head on his shoulder. A shoulder she had cried on many times, when other boys had broken her heart. A shoulder she longed to sleep on. He put his jacket on her to keep her warm, like he did whenever she drank too much at a party with the plastic humans she sometimes got invited to and she had to call him to drive her home. He stroked her hair and sang a song she loved. She was drunk, and his off key voice was better than anything she had ever heard.
She had to tell him. She reached into her purse and pulled out a note she had written him. She turned to give him it and before she could, he pulled her close and pushed his lips on hers, they closed their eyes and fell into each other. She squeezed his hand tight as they kissed and kissed and didn’t care about anything or anyone else, finally, they both knew.
He drove her home. They didn’t speak, and their favourite song in the whole world was playing on the cassette player in his mom’s old pick up. She held his hand when he wasn’t changing gears and he would turn to her at stop signs to kiss her gently on the mouth. There was no need for words anymore.
She called him the next morning as soon as she woke up and he answered with a sleepy I love you.
Author notes
Non-formatted poetry in motion.
A contest entry
- For The Poets Who Write Prose by Stars of Hope.
450 points, ended September 10, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Very well written and thought out, giving good insight into the two people involved and the unspoken love between the two, I can relate to that very well.
I have to ask, is that from personal experience? Myself and my partner were both good friends before we got together, neither one of us knew how the other felt (until I got told by one of her friends how she felt, on the night of her birthday), she showed up that night and sat beside me...and we just knew, neither of us needed to say anything at that point, so as I said, I can totally relate to this.
Good write and congrats on gold.
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Yes, it is personal. Obviously slightly tweaked, americanised for that "hollywood" feel. But the facts are the facts. I fell in love with him years ago, and we're still together now.
Thank you for your comment.
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Awwwww...
This is so sweet! I love the characters. How they make fun of all the plastice people is my favorite quality! I think this story is so cute! I love it! Good Luck!
Luv ya oodles!
Courtney
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Oh goodness.
Thank you!
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So warm
We don't have 7 inch singles anymore. We don't have a lot of things anymore.
Tonight I cooked dinner and thought that I'd read your piece while eating and I looked down and tears were falling in my omlette. Thankyou for telling me tonight.
I hope this story is true.
Tell me you married him.
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So warm
We don't have 7 inch singles anymore. We don't have a lot of things anymore.
Tonight I cooked dinner and thought that I'd read your piece while eating and I looked down and tears were falling in my omlette. Thankyou for telling me tonight.
I hope this story is true.
Tell me you married him.
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Aww! Omg! That was one of the sweetest and cutest poems I have ever read! It was amazing and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! I loved the ending. I also lked how different they both were! AMAZING job! Love it!
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Promise...sing
Variation on a theme hovering on the border between prose and poetry the resilience of whose plasticity shines over and above an questions of verse...atility.
Simple without being simplistic, acute societal observations while avoiding the temptation of invasive criticism ... this composition succeeds not only in attracting attention without overemphasis but also holds promise in respect of future creativity.
Perhaps the last paragraph is superfluous 'She called him the next morning as soon as she woke up and he answered with a sleepy I love you' as contradicting the previous phrase "There was no need for words anymore." (Which might be amended to read Words were no longer needed)
One hand clapping ...
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Thank you.
The words not needed, were valid for one night only.
Also, a sleepy I love you need not be words.
But I am not here to argue a critique, I am here to accept and smile. And thank you.
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It's beautiful, more like a story than a poem but it flows too much to be proze. I really like the way you ortry them as in their own little world. Well done :]
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I loved the poem, but we don't know if all of your writing is this amazing, so we want you to enter our fresh write contest coming up.
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oh my goddd! this is absolutely incredible! I was afraid this was going to be SO cheesy, and it turned out to be just perrrrfect! I love things like this - the offbeat romances and the way you set it up for a perfect ending! I loved the little details that made this piece REAL instead of like a little modern-day vague fairy-tale. Verrrry well done, I am very impressed and pleased to have stumbled across this!
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She called him the next morning as soon as she woke up and he answered with a sleepy I love you.
Well this is amazing ..I love the stamina you have shown here with your words alongwith the details of the circumstances to highlights the story of the love through the poetic journey here..you have described the beautiful but indeed a long but very impressive story which is truly a great take on the subject of love.
well done...
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Oh. This was such a beautiful poem. I started crying about half way through because I was certain it was going to end badly, but you came through with a beautiful and heartwarming ending. Such a beautiful, beautiful piece. Well penned!
Write on!
~*~SP~*~
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Beautifully written! I had to come and read this because of your username -- are you Welsh? :]
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I just read it again. and i love it so much more you did a really great job on this. It's so heartfelt and emotional. i love it !!!
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this is so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! loved it so much
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A Wonderful story
I loved this , it brings faith back that love can exsite in this crazy world ! Great read!
I will read this to my daughter who just went through heartbreak!
thanks,
~Lisa~
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Great story told.
Human vulnerability. Shyness, fear to tell between two who feel the same. Well done.
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transition from friendship to love...usually the best way of falling in love cuz you know how each other are...amazing piece cuz it somehow reminded me of someone....
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They drove to the golf course instead of home, and they sat on the green and she finished off a bottle of champagne they had found abandoned outside. She was tired, so put her head on his shoulder. A shoulder she had cried on many times, when other boys had broken her heart. A shoulder she longed to sleep on. He put his jacket on her to keep her warm, like he did whenever she drank too much at a party with the plastic humans she sometimes got invited to and she had to call him to drive her home. He stroked her hair and sang a song she loved. She was drunk, and his off key voice was better than anything she had ever heard.
^ Love that. Love it. I just... I don't even know what to say. I'm speechless. You're such an amazing writer. Thanks so much for sharing! -
A great piece, confident, brave, it's a good example of prose, much you could do and expand though. Different though.
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Grrrrrreat! I was stressed out, but now you've made my day.I've been trying to find the right words to describe what I like so much about it, but I guess every reader will agree that the story sort of speaks for itself. Great job!
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...
I just broke up with my boyfriend and DAMN! I needed this
Thank you so much... aaaaaaah (^^)
I thought: I'll read one poem before I start studying... and that was this thing... damn... Thank you so much...
I'd say I love you right now but I think that's maybe a bit over the top haha...
I love this piece. I'm soo bookmarking this...
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wow
very sweet! is it written from personal experience?
i like it alot the way it shows both sets of thoughts.
keep it up.
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