Every minute
Every hour
Every day
Every pain
This pain is killing me
Ripping my soul
Killing my thoughts
making me alive
Blade splits my flesh
Blood spills free
Pain my gift
Brings me back to reality
Crimson spills down
Stains the ground
Black in the moonlight
Do you remember when?
I was young
I was free
I was innocent
Memories fade
Reality is but an illusion
You make this fake
Enough of this
Pain kills the lie
It is done
It has past
I am dead
Every minute
Every Hour
Every Day
Every Pain
Author notes
Sometimes you just sit down and think about life ...and this is what came of that for me
A contest entry
- Pain poems, by Christina-is-crazy.
300 points, ended June 18, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Don't Wanna Feel, Cause You Know It Hurts Like Hell by xXxIceQueenxXx.
700 points, ended February 9, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I have to agree with my co-judge on this one. It sounds cliche, and it doesn't seem personal. If it is, I am sorry if I've offended you, but I prefer to be honest with my comments, so people aren't led falsely to believe they've turned out something wonderful, when it isn't the best they can do. Now I'm not saying this is horrible, I'm just saying it's not totally what I'm looking for in the contest.
However, I do believe that cutting/suicide are very serious problems, and if it's something you're experiencing please get help!! Poetry is excellent for expressing problems and inner thoughts/feelings and I do not doubt your validity on this subject, nor do I doubt your writing abilities. This poem may work great for certain contests, but it's not quite powerful enough for mine.
Anyway, I thank you for taking time to enter it in my contest, and I hope that my comments have helped rather than offend you. -
This is a typical cutting poem, although it has emotion it doesn't really come into affect until half way through the poem.
Looking back is a good thing,
But I think you should have found a way to make this more personal, I've read these types of poems over and over... while it's well put together, it's just a very typical poem.
Good luck
<3 britty
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Omg! I LOVE the emotion in it, I can totaly understand and unfortunatly relate to it. However I don't like the contrast at first the pain makes you feel alive than dead? Maybe I just didn't understand that part.
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Its beautifuly written, im going to have a horrible time judging this contest becasue all the poems iv read so far are amazing!!!! good luck and thank you for entering my contest
♥ Christina -
Wow! I loved it!
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