I am blood red
hungry to smash your heart in on itself
and your fist into her face
She deserves it, that little whore
she wouldn't listen
she wouldn't obey
and now we're going to send her to hell
I am the hole in the wall
an empty black eye socket
where you set me loose
Did you really think you could hold me in?
Ha. You'll taste the truth
you'll taste it soon enough
like the coppery blood on your tongue
where your teeth tore flesh and set your life free
I am the bruises along his face
where his father took hold of me
I am the gun he used to end his father's life
because he couldn't handle any more of me
and yet, what irony,
that in doing so he would take me in
I am the explosion that ripped their limbs to shreds
leaving little pieces of their hearts
strewn across the streets
I am the man who, stone-faced, forces that knife into her
and then tosses her aside
You want me, don't you?
Oh, I know you know me.
We've met before, when your hands shook with rage
and your voice was a sword, cutting deep
Yes, you know me.
The question is, will we meet again?
I certainly hope so...we have oh so much fun together
Don't we?
Author notes
For the contest; option 1, hate, wrath - the same thing.
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He crawls across your back, scarring you so deep your heart can't even feel it anymore. And he wants more...your heart, your mind, and ultimately, your life. The choice is yours.
Say hello to Hate. He loves you in the sickest ways.
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Dark: Anger, Angst and Goth by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HATE by lesbian-in-love.
565 points, ended November 5, 2007, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 121st Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended December 29, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Congrats on the honorable mention trophy. This was very intense. The imagery and word choice were magnificent and you expressed yourself very well. Nice job. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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Wow that was wonderful in a sick way. Just what I was looking for too. Wow. Thanks for entering and good luck to you in the contest.
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I think hate and anger are two of the strongest emotions people can feel and sometimes it’s hard to control them not only in our actions towards others but also in our own minds. I think the author of this poem has so vividly put these feelings into words that they can’t be mistaken for anything other than what they are. Each stanza describes a situation that is bound to cause anger and hatred in most human beings and I like the way ‘hate’ has been personified in the first line of each one. This instantly draws the reader into the stanzas, which allows them to feel the intensity of the emotions. Some of the lines I like for their imagery are “like the coppery blood on your tongue / where your teeth tore flesh and set your life free” and “I am the explosion that ripped their limbs to shreds / leaving little pieces of their hearts strewn across the streets.” These pictures were created instantly in my imagination as I read through. The questions also strengthen the poem as I felt it was me being asked them and this kind of inclusion of the reader is excellent.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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