The candle flickers, once more,
once more,
as a desperate scream
is silenced
And she knows not
what hurts the most,
the bruises or
the quiet
The heart pulses, no more,
no more,
as she lies
in an alley
And broken she searches,
with lifeless eyes
for eternity forgotten
The police lights circle, once more,
once more,
as only a corpse
is taken
But they deserted
who she was,
a young woman
with a spirit
An empty funeral passes, once more,
once more
as a heart
is disregarded,
And she stares at the lid
of her unthoughtful departing,
gone, and gone
forever
The candle flickers once more,
once more,
as a desperate scream
is silenced
Author notes
Authorname: renizzle
A contest entry
- The Cow Jumped Over the Moon? by Quixotically Yours.
300 points, ended June 22, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I'm sad" POETRY :( by thelovesongwriter.
345 points, ended June 20, 2007, 96 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Clockwork Mechanics of Abstract and Common Thanologists by Demonikvampire.
600 points, ended July 2, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Felt" poetry. ONLY by shirk.
1500 points, ended October 8, 2007, 110 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sleep Sweetly and Keep Me Company by Plastic Dreams.
750 points, ended September 19, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Darkness. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended April 23, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie
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this is definatle a tragic idea to come by. I can see the rain spreading over the grave as the lonely priest gives his sermon. and she annihilated by some unknown hand.
tragedy is revealed as a coffin sealed.
"the bruises or the quiet"
caught my eye. most definately.
thank you for your entry.
well written -
Felt!
Just beautifully written on such a sad life ... that we know exists a little too much. There is nothing i would change here.
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Thank you ma'dear.
I must say this is great:]
This is exactly what i was looking for.
Great write :]
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Wow!...intense imagery here with a great flow and beat led by eerie repetition...a great dark write-well done
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This is absolutely stunning. I read it the first time through a few days ago and was astounded, but now as I go through it the second time and notice all the little nuances, I love it even more.
I love the story, the repetition, the imagery, and the cold finality of the ending. Not as abstract as I was looking for, but there is no denying the brilliance of this. Stupendous job. Thanks for entering, and good luck!
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