So small, so trusting, so innocent
Never knowing her world would be rent
In two by the charming young man
In the end he held her life in his hand.
Now she's dirty, she's torn, she's used
Someone who's only abused.
Does anyone see the pain inside?
The pain she grows up to hide?
As a young woman looking for love,
There comes a man she thinks sent from above
Offering love but it was only a lie
Now he's given her one more reason to cry
She tucks the pain deep down inside.
Swearing no one will again make her cry
But she's crying tears that go unseen,
Always wondering just what does her life mean.
On her soul she sees only the fingerprints
Of the ones who worked to steal her innocence.
She goes through life screaming inside,
No one stops to hear her cries.
Untill one day at the end of herself,
She looks to the heavens and cries out for help.
You reach down and gently touch her heart.
You soothe the pain in her deepest part.
You hold her hand as she walks though the fire.
You keep her from falling back into the mire
You pulled her from when you saved her soul.
Now You are working to make her whole.
Now with every test she must face,
She's learning to rest upon Your grace.
Because you are walking closer than a lover
She no longer needs to depend on another.
Your goodness and mercy has no end.
Now I know my heart You can mend.
The scars that remain testify to You grace
But I don't see them, I see only Your face.
Author notes
option #1
A contest entry
- Cry Out to Jesus by walkinthereign.
355 points, ended January 12, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hope For Tomorrow by CherryOnTop.
2200 points, ended January 6, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - *The Lord is Guiding Me Home* by superstition.
600 points, ended January 24, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hope in hopelessness by faithwhisperer.
675 points, ended January 24, 2008, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When Hope Dangles by oldphotosonlybringt.
390 points, ended February 17, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - round contest #1 by serenity silvermoon.
600 points, ended March 26, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your strength! by Cyanide Milkshake.
900 points, ended July 9, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Very nice. It must be nice to know you can entrust your pain to someone.
People can be cruel all through your life, but I'm glad you found something to ease the pain. -
I can't imagne how anyone can be cruel to someone else. Frotunatly God offers strength healing and protection. Thanks for entering my contest. Please feel free to check out the group.
-
oh my gosh!
this pretty much had tears in my eyes
thank you so much for shareing such an amazing heart touching poem
i love each word and idk it was just amazing love lots
and thanks bunches..xoxox -
This is a little rough and uneven in places and some of the couplets don’t really rhyme but it has a good message and ends happily. That’s what I asked for. Thank you for entering my contest.
-
i like this poem its so strong and i can relate so well... thank you for entering my contes
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This is a beautiful poem about God's wonderful and amazing grace!
Thanks so much for this fine entry in our contest.
- joanne
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Thanks for entering my contest! I read and reread this, and felt it did such a good job of explaining hope through God...lovely job!
-
You did an absolutely beautiful job on this poem, and I love how it tells of the revelation for this girl. It always amazes me how so many (myself included in the past) turn to God as a last resort when He's the only one who can heal you...the only one who will ALWAYS listen to you. Things in this life are fleeting and NOT set in stone, so it's wonderful to know that when everyone else seems to be stepping away, He's waiting to step in closer. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!
-
Very very well written poem. I could sence so much emotion in this poem. I am an Epathetic person (who cant spell haha) and this write almost made me cry. I enjoyed every word of it. very very much so. The part that stood out to me the most would be..
"You hold her hand as she walks though the fire.
You keep her from falling back into the mire
You pulled her from when you saved her soul.
Now You are working to make her whole."
Ya i do beieve the Poem could use alittle touch ups. but This is not what my contest is about. i didnt say anything about Gramical errors or incorrect punctuation. I still see your pain and your happiness and your love for god through the (very little) typos. Thank you for your entry. and good luck and God Bless.
I will cast an Over all comment on the winning poems when the contest is closed for judging. Thank you
- My-Insanity
-
This poem was nice, but the rhyme didn't really do it for me and it didn't seem to have a backbone of strength that made it stand out to me. I did like the topic of god, but really poems on faith do nothing for me as I'm an atheist. I believe I mentioned this in the introduction to this contest.
-
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thank you for your comments
-
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I enjoyed the "When all else fails, trust in the Lord" message....you certainly can't go wrong. This is a very inspirational piece!
Thanks for entering! -
oh this is so sweet, thanks for entering!
-
I like what you wrote here. I could see your tears and your pain. I love how you write in third person and finish in first person, bringing that twist in focus. It is something I have also done.
Your words really drew me in. What a hopeful story...one of healing.
-
good testimony
You have penned a good testimony of a life hurt and broken that found healing in Christ. The change from writing about someone to directing it "you" and then "I" is a bit confusing to the reader. -
I know how it feels to be broken by a man and the things that they do and that you've been hurt by another, it's never alright. I'm glad you had strength and faith to pull you through, some people struggle to see the light.
-
This was so heartwrenching and heartwarming as well.Congrats on your Bronze!!!
-
Thank you and good luck in my contest.
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excellent
we all hide hurts from the world as a form of protection..this is wonderfully penned..thanx for sharing a glimpse of you..and best of luck in the contest..
-
Great write!
I really like this poem. I could truly feel your pain and the sense that you lost your innocence so unfairily. But God heals He purifies us making us whole once again! I am confident that you will stand tall again. Hang in there! I love the lines:
"Your goodness and mercy has no end
now I know my heart You can mend"
The only thing is, is that I found some typos in this piece. Typos are the only thing holding you back from being a finalist. Please fix this poem a little bit by adding punctuation and fixing minor errors and message me that you fixed it.
Here are my suggestions:
You see me
So small, so trusting, so innocent,
Never knowing her world would be bent
In two by the charming young man
In the end he held her life in his hand.
Now she's dirty, she's torn, she's used.
Someone who's only been abused.
Does anyone see the pain inside?
The pain she grows up to hide?
As a young woman looking for love,
There comes a man she thinks sent from above
Offering love but it was only a lie
Now he's given her one more reason to cry.
She tucks the pain deep down inside.
Swearing no one will again make her cry
But she's crying tears that go unseen,
Always wondering just what does her life mean.
On her soul she sees only the fingerprints
Of the ones who worked to steal her innocence.
She goes through life screaming inside,
No one stops to hear her cries.
Untill one day at the end of herself,
She looks to the heavens and cries out for help.
You reach down and gently touch her heart.
You soothe the pain in her deepest part.
You hold her hand as she walks though the fire.
You keep her from falling back into the mire.
You pulled her back when you saved her soul.
Now You are working to make her whole.
Now with every test she must face,
She's learning to rest upon Your grace
Because you are walking closer than a lover
She no longer needs to depend on another.
Your goodness and mercy has no end.
Now I know my heart You can mend.
The scars that remain testify to Your grace.
But I don't see them, I see only Your face.
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
