If I had one day that I could live again, or one moment to redo..
There is absolutely no question which day I would change to new.
It would be the month of March in the year two thousand three
when I made that fateful call and let known chaos in to hurt me...
I expected honor and integrity from one I knew as 'lying thief'
when it came to his children, their welfare first instead of grief.
I was backed against a wall with nowhere left to turn
and just like his rotten self he began my soul to burn.
He of course coerced whatever else he could get from me
promising to leave all three of us homeless in the streets,
if I did not give to him temporary custodial rights to be
owner of the condescending power to hold over me.
I trusted this was right
by and for my children's life.
But found instead I should have fought
and went on welfare whether or not
it cost me my pride in vain.
Now instead we pay in pain.
He robs us of joyful times and love
then continues to push and shove.
Taking innocence that can never be
returned to my children and to me.
Time and life await no one
marching on in retribution,
babies grow with unseen scars
as courts and lawyers play their farce
from evidence not proven, but heresy
while he beats me down to eventually
break the spirit he said he would, so long ago
along with my tenacious, fighting, stronger soul.
I bruised his ego; defied his wrath
and left him to sit in the aftermath
in his own earned and low shame
knowing it was his own to claim.
And as my life has shown to me
empty are the halls of honesty
for they fall upon closed deaf ears
haunted dreams for many years.
Lies take the coat of truth as they appear
more real and logical than the sheer
fantastic reality of what matters most
disappearing as a thin white ghost.
If I could change just one moment in my life
it would be the one I took as his ex wife,
to call and ask for help as any parent should
so that our children were fed and really could
learn to live in laughter instead of tears
without hunger staining younger years
and feel safe with a house and home
instead of afraid, homeless and alone.
My self contempt created by lack of vision
as I trusted a known liar without question
ignoring the sharp pain in my gut
that I feel daily now with disgust
because I actually gave him the tool
handed him the key in madness to rule
my daughters lives as well my own
our wounds unseen or never shown.
Now I live in an urn overflowing with tears
because I decided to ignore my fears,
my own intuition that steered me away
from ever regretting this fateful day...
For I chose not to listen to the voice inside
that knows- without reason without rhyme
future, present and the past
truth- instead of lies he cast.
and so it goes ...
In a list
A contest entry
- The Best/Worst Day Of Your Life...So Far by Death of the Author.
525 points, ended August 25, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Silver Sword of Truth- prewrites accepted....many images and quotes to select. by FlamesDragoness.
400 points, ended November 11, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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words al too true
right from the hear, I know tat walk
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My dear I feel this write so much more then you can ever know. I am a woman that became a single mom through the abuse of another. Don't beat yourself up over this you did what you thought was best. LOVE the write
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"Lies take the coat of truth as they appear
more real and logical than the sheer
fantastic reality of what matters most
disappearing as a thin white ghost."
You have slain well with the Silver
sword of truth....and
victorious you are in your quest
and embattled soul!
May you always shine your brillance
and tenderness.....for Bold Lesson
learnt sculpt our lives and IMPACT
in ways we never even imagined!
blessings to you Bold Soul!
flamesdragoness
Celebrates ...YOU!
welcome to the finalist list!
-
Yes ...
life can always throw you an extra curve or two ... or three. I guess all I can say is "good luck". -
okay..now I have TWO FAV'S!
whoa..this POEM has the ability to actually IMPACT and
change LIVES....the courage and inspiration...is
MIGHTY...Depths of Ocean and vast sea's of lessons painfully learnt. Humble bow to you Poet!
ears/Seattle SCORE PERFECTIONS **10***
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.: please give your comment to another 1 contestent and give them your judged point in a scale of 10 :.
.: Thjanks for joining my contest:. -
This is a very good poem and thanks for joing my contest
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I dont' regret a thing because I believe everything happens for a reason, but I don't blame you for wanting to change that day, you just wanted the outcome to be different to make yourself happier now and I can't blame you.
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aww this is very good. thank you for entering and good luck in my contest. this is a wonderful piece.
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This was a really great poem, long, but it held my interest all the way!
Its such a shame that we have regrets and our lives can change in but an instant...and there are monsters our there like this man...
Thank you for entry and good luck x
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"Now I live in an urn overflowing with tears
because I decided to ignore my fears,"
Those lines are so honest, and really got to me. There is a lot of hurting in this, for one portrayed in regret, which is something I've felt a lot and I know how much that hurts. Very well written! -
this isn't the kind of "lost love" i meant, but all the same was an amazing poem. I mean that 100%. truly amazing! I'm just WOWED!
Thanks for your entry!
WWW*
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Lots of emotion and sincere regret.
The words that you used were really well picked and your emotion spoke through the words.
I found this really well written, however there were two sentences that could be changed that would make this flow better.
"When I made that fatefull call, and let known chaos in to hurt me."
It may be a better option if you said it like this instead, "When I made that fatefull call, and let chaos in to hurt me."
"I expected honor and integrity, from one I knew as lying thief."
I may be better if you said it like this, "I expected honor and integrity, from one I knew as a lying thief, " or, "I expected honor and integrity, from one I knew as 'lying thief'". (put brackets around the two words so that it seems like you are naming him lying theif.)
This is a well written poem, you definetly worked hard on it, and the changes that I suggested are only a suggestion:.)
I hope that things are getting better for you, and that you have peace now.
May God bless you tremendously amidst you hard times.
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omg great work so sad painful but so true and real:S:S so much emotion lies in it wow great write
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Oh this is so sad and so ful of pain, it hurts one to actually read it and I can only imagine the actual grief experienced. But I do hope that you will become stronger from such an experience and that the worst is now behind you.
I am sure the future will be better, take care. Oh and by the way, this was very well written.
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