I'll slit your Throat, let the blood flow
Watch as the stain on your chest grows
Let the Liquid bath me and you in its warmth
Anyone who hungers for blood, come forth
You look afraid almost to scared to talk
I need to make this fast before you body is lined with chalk
I gently touch your cheek and push your head back
Your throat spread open farther with its deep bleeding crack
I feel the blood leaving you, your getting lighter
No need to fight your just making yourself weaker
I pull harder and you vomit blood
The harder I pull the more of your life churns the dirt to mud
One last pull and your leg start to shake
Your head is the only thing I'll take
I hold it up and look into your face
Just think, you used to be such a waste
Now you will go up on to my wall
Eternal scream from your gaping maw
I will show you to my friends and everyone I see
I will tell them how much of a fight you put up against me
I'm so proud of my new trophy prize
I shall go get myself another when the opportunity shall arise
It's not hard to do its actually quite a blast
Just look for people who treat others like trash
Tell them what I told the rest
How they need to give you the best
It's so easy that you don't even need to lie
You slice there throat and watch them die
A contest entry
- The Gore Contest by eating vertigo.
370 points, ended June 24, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery by angryelf6886.
350 points, ended April 5, 2008, 30 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - King Me! by Sister-Vee.
600 points, ended September 15, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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well this is definitely gory... very well written tho. Thanks for sharing this with us. And thanks for putting it on the trekkergirl friends reading list.
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FUCK FUCK FUCK!
THIS IS SOOOOO AMAZONG! HOLY SHIT THIS IS JUST AWESOME! WOW......O.O
I LOVE EVERYTHING, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS POEM! ESPECIALLY THE METHOD OF DEATH, DEFINITELY KUDOS ON THAT! Just....wow, the descriptions, the imagery, the IN DEPTH DETAIL of the throat cut, AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU WIN THESE CONTESTS WITH THIS CAUSE YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE TROPHIES FOR IT! OMG, ok ok......so lines. I love these lines:
"I'll slit your Throat, let the blood flow
Watch as the stain on your chest grows"
AND THIS:
"I gently touch your cheek and push your head back
Your throat spread open farther with its deep bleeding crack"
AND THIS:
"I pull harder and you vomit blood
The harder I pull the more of your life churns the dirt to mud"
It's all so sick, dark and twisted. Ok, i'm rendered speechless by this.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. There's another write I did that i can't find otherwise i'd post it. It's the same as this but it takes the story farther into detail about choosing a victim and such.
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really?
is it on here or do you mean you COMPLETELY lost and can't find it. Hell, you are AWESOEM at this gory writing shit.
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EEE Gads!!! This was just plain out and out creepy...[shivers]...Good luck in the contest...
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this made me laugh
But i'm not quite sure it will make the judges giggle.. i write alot of suff like this, but i would not have entered it for this contest exactly..i still liked this piece very much, i mean..the hate has to flow out somewhere,, better here than itno a real person... -
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I write my emotions out so that i don't have to express them physically. Thanks for the comment
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uuuh wow...that is definatly dark. I can't say I've ever read a poem like that. It literally struck fear into my heart as I read through it. The description is just amazing and I feel as if I'm actually there. You did such a wondeful job with this! Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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Well... this poem is a well expressed account of the angst and horror bubbling right inside... the imagery used is very effective.. i could almost see the red.. that was blood.... great write.. Just a few suggestions to make if I may.
"No need to fight your just making yourself weaker".. Do you mean that "your" to be "you're"?
"You slice there throat and watch them die".. The "there" is wrongly placed here.. it should be "their".
Overall.. well done.. thanks for entering the Raven Qualifier. Good Luck!
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Thank you very much for the critisism, sometimes i write too fast that i don't catch myself before i post or hit the "save" button. once more, thank you
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