My, my, dear friend, how you have fallen,
Moral destitution your crime.
My, my dear friend, your hopes and your dreams,
Leveled to the bare foundations.
My, my dear friend, we meet once again,
Like coy lovers beneath a starry sky.
And yet dear friend you greet me with dagger,
With your shield and your unsheathed sword,
Come come, dear friend a coup d'etat?
Against me both your friend and lord?
Oh fool, oh fool, fly while you can.
Madame Mercy is out tonight,
With Countess Compassion eloped,
And where is the ten thousand at your back?
The marshalled forces for which you had hoped?
My, my dear friend, how you have fallen,
The depths of your hell not reached.
But worry not o friend of mine,
The night is yet young, my blade poised to strike,
Tonight my friend, we'll discover,
How deep of a hell for you I can craft.
Author notes
Inspired by Macbeth and Banquo's "relationship". Also inspired by V from V For Vendetta, especially the lines "Madame Mercy is out tonight,
With Countess Compassion eloped,"
A contest entry
- Truth of Life contest Round ONE by xandercheerios.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think :D
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Interesting!
Very interesting ... I liked the repetition "My, My dear friend" ... and the theme is beautifully ironic... coy lovers beneath a starry sky and then "worry not o friend of mine, night is yet young , my blade poised to strike"... Very unusual expressions and very interesting
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Thank you for the kind words
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An enjoyable poem...I loved the part where it said "Madame Mercy is out tonight,
With Countess Compassion eloped," It certainly added something to the poem...Very good work -
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Thank you for the kind words
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Impressed by the rhythm and rhyme in your lines; sounds like there is a deadly future in store form the ending of the poem. Good flow and and interesting read.
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Impressed by the rhythm and rhyme in your lines; sounds like there is a deadly future in store form the ending of the poem. Good flow and and interesting read.
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Impressed by the rhythm and rhyme in your lines; sounds like there is a deadly future in store form the ending of the poem. Good flow and and interesting read.
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Thank you for the kind words, if you'd take the time to read my other poems I'd greatly appreciate it
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Well, Domdeegrpgc, I really can see some ancient skill in this, you must really be inspired by the great poets of yesteryear. I really enjoyed reading this, and look forward to reading future poems in this theme, if you make it into future rounds. Good luck!
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I don't know what your username is, but here's the link to round 2: http://allpoetry.com/contest/show/2354490 Please tell me your username
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nicely done
enjoyable to read.
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read me.lol.
that was beautiful.
"tonight my friend, we'll discover,
how deep of a hell for you i can craft."
wow. thats deep.
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Thank you
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oh love how you gave Compassion aand Mercy an individual persoona....tragic how moral corruption can rob the very essence of oneself....splenid piece!
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