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The Concealment (Tanka)


Like bark of ancient
sequoia forests, your eyes
(textured, dark and deep)
conceal from me the tender
flesh beneath I long to reach.


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Comments


  • Swan song gold member
    June 17, 2007

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    Excellent approach you took a chance on this and i can see the genius in the poem. maybe a bit rough but very good.


  • sheltered
    June 5, 2007

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    Great metaphor/simile. I was working on something for this myself and it isn't an easy task. You pulled it off quite nicely.