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Let's Go to the Chocolate Buffet

Let's celebrate, my dear Aunt May,
you're ninety-five years old today!
Good diet keeps disease away.
I've special plans for your birthday --
we're going to the chocolate buffet!

What number did your meter say?
Your sugar's up? No, not today!
You must eat cake on your birthday!
Well that's the rule by which I play.
We'll go today to that buffet!

Chocolate gives you hives; you say,
and it constricts your thin airway?
A pill will keep symptoms at bay;
the E.R.'s just twelve miles away.
We'll go to that buffet today!

Oh now your temper on display,
I even planned to maybe pay.
My nerves are shot, about to fray.
Get in the car right now, Aunt May,
we're going to that damn buffet!


Joyce Josephson



Author notes

I enjoyed the buffet immensely, and Aunt May is recuperating nicely.

Thanks to Sweet Impatience for designing this background for me.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • TwiztidMaggot
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    haha. this is very interesting. Cute even. lol. Ver nice write. Thanks for your entry, I wish you the beswt of luck! Congratulations on your bronze trophy and your honorable mention! Keep up your great work!

    TwiztidMaggot


  • toomysterious
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this humorous read, chuckling to myself wondering if the chocolate buffet is more for the niece than the Birthday girl. He, he.


  • debilynn gold member
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    this is hilarious! i thoroughly enjoyed reading this from beginning to end. your talent amazes me. thank you for sharing this. keep writing! God bless you always


  • trekkergirl
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Hummm I loved this one. Really I did. I loved the sense of humor in this... had me just giggling. I loved the background. I loved the poem. Great job. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  • piccola silver member
    February 14

    Edit | Reply
    someone's craving chocolate and I've a feeling it ain't Aunt May!
    This is cute ... go instead to the all you can eat veggie buffet


  • WordsDoMatter
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    cute

    very nice I have to say,
    catchy in a sort of way,
    you got into my head today,
    I think I'll have a milkyway.
    congrats - Kevin


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    December 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO This is way funny. I am laughing so hard. LOL Poor Aunt May!!! I felt bad for her in the end. LOL Ienjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest


  • dustytiger
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lol this was really funny, not what i was expecting but i still loved it1


  • Cherokee
    December 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very cute. I didn't pee but I did eat some chocolate.


  • JOSHv3
    September 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Lol this was pretty fun ill give you that...And the rhyming didnt seem to be forced...Great job and good luck in my contest! thanks for entering!


  • kiwikrazi37
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Haha! Super funny. Some of my family is pretty stubborn too, like when I want to give my parents money to pay for something I really want, like McDonalds, they still say no! This piece was very much enjoyed, best wishes in the contest.


  • xXLoveXx
    July 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good job....I really like this! Thanks for entering
    GOOD LUCK IN MY CONTEST!


  • bloved
    June 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hahahhahah this sure was funny!

    I wonder were you poking at the Health care system?

    I might be off But I sure did enjoy this

    Thanks and good luck in the contest!


  • duana
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think I missed the point of the contest with my poem- I thought we were supposed to make it all sugary and be implicit in the sarcasm. But this is amazing- the best I read so far, and I am sure just what they are looking for!


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO! What a devil you are, I mean she is!! This is very good. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

    Jeannie


  • meanderingbear
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    LOL!!

    I loved this!! Extremely funny...and your author notes tells all! I especially loved the third verse and the last line where you say, "the E.R.'s just twelve miles away"! HA, HA!!! (Poor Aunt May!) Good luck in this contest! Carolyn


  • Recluse Writer gold member
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a lovely thoughtful gesture you have penned here.
    You thought about the Benedryl, the distance to E.R. and that you may even pay! What more could Aunt May want from a sweet niece
    Love it and best of luck in the contest
    Linda


  • esroddo silver member
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Grand write

    With a touch of humor well enjoyed and applauded. One day we all will be like your Aunt May. Not really sure what we want or don't want. My mothers that same way. She wants us to take her to Red Lobster and when we are there, theres nothing she wants. Every thing is to much food or to expensive. And she's not paying, So she orders and takes it all home. But what can I say she's my mom What ever makes her happy. Thank you for sharing your great write. And sorry for the going on part. (Lisa)
    "Why should you always get your way?
    Get in the car right now, Aunt May.
    We're going to that damn buffet!"


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Lol I love it! fabulous write! Great imagery and wow did you give it to Aunt May lol
    Thanks so much for this excellent entry in our contest.
    Gaylene

  • EncounteredEpiphany
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    BRAVO

    Nice Write...
    Keep up the good work!!!!


  • Amera gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly a wonderful write! The flow and the meter are well done. I like the repitition of end words. I thought it was a Sestina the most difficult form to write. In fact with very little work this could easily be made into a Sestina. Well done!

    Love,
    Amera ♥


  • CinematicInk
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your generous comment! I enjoyed the health concerns in the poem, it's easy to relate to! There were a few lines where the rhyming scheme didn't exactly match. Although, it could be read in a different way than I perceive it. I enjoy rhyme scheme too!


  • Mirthryl
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    P.S. love your border and color on this page!

  • Mirthryl
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love it, especially the
    benedryl/hives/airway/12 miles to ER etc!
    Sounds like a great buffet!
    Also sounds like she forgot you were coming and had her hearing aid in when you rang the doorbell...
    Very nice!

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