Blue acrylic coat had stroked her eyes
As her arms he made of calm white
Her curls of tea brown stunned the wind
The precious garden of her presence
Expressed as she picked out a corn nearby
Shall I not be envious of his desire?
To paint of another women’s beauty
To use his hands and not my time
And shun it upon our kitchen wall
The wall that we painted our sweet love
Am I not as more beautiful
To you, my love, the signature of that painting?
Author notes
About a women jeoulsed by a man as he talks about another women's beauty.
Cheating on me if so much like a painting he held of another women
RCC: 2007RC065
In a list
A contest entry
- ANYTHING SHORT by Blooming Poet.
400 points, ended March 7, 2008, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RIP THA RUNWAY in Poetry! by AddictiveTRUTH.
4500 points, ended March 30, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Missing Piece... by lowercase prelude.
400 points, ended May 28, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Gr8t job and thanks for making an appearance in my contest.
Take care,
Ephiphany
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Good poem, the first line had is not needed, that makes a double past tense, and makes it sound weird. Good ending question again. Love the descriptors in here, great work.
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Oh this is really good! I love how you made title, and asking if you are not more than that painting. I love your description and your entire wording was really good. Good job!
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Hmm... nice imagery. Good metaphors and wording. Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
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I loved this Aurielle
you are indeed an Inspiring Artist. Rich text speaks so vivid with perfect words to bring the reader closer. I've felt like this before...great write, my talented friend.
Ephiphany
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thank you. I like when you comment on my work. Your comments are always beautiful.
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Very nicely written. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for the notes explaining the meaning behind it. Nicely done.
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Great
This is great I like the way you liken your jealousy to a painting. He would have to really study his subject in order to paint a masterpiece. You painted it for him with words. Grest write
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wow this poem was really good! so vivid in description i expecially LOVE the line... Her curls of tea brown stunned the wind that was a great one! really really good work and definetly keep it up! AMAZING WRITE!
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phenomenal poem! absolutely beautiful
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A beautifully written poem! Well done! I loved the way you ended the piece "Am I not as more beautiful
To you, my love, the signature of that painting?" it is so good! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!
-Steve- -
Do think this is certainly different - unusual. Such a sad situation to be in, no one wants to be in her shoes.
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this is imagery-rich and well-composed. I like the metaphor that you explained in your author's comments.
Excellent.
Arielle
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Beautifully expressed
Sometimes to love is more painful than not to be loved at all. Men are so unpredictable. Impressive write dear. keep writing I like the way you express your self. (LISA)
"Shall I not be envious of his desire?
To paint of another women’s beauty
To use his hands and not my time
And shun it upon our kitchen wall
The wall that we painted our sweet love
Am I not as more beautiful
To you, my love, the signature of that painting?"
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bravo
An oh so lovely poem, that could only be written by a lover...finely and very deftly done, indeed! bravo... bravo... bravo...
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You have very much amazed me with your words
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To paint of another women’s beauty
The wall that we painted our sweet love
Am I not as more beautiful
This is a mavelous write. I am not sure, but I think the following lines are either have too much or missing some. I love the write. It is wonderfully express. keep up the great work and thank you for sharing
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damn
wow this is like wow. Sorrow for my sorry remarks but i am speechless
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thank you for that kind comment is much deeper then people think as of the whole message of aguy cheating on a girl by talking bout another girl or simply having sex
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Dang! Now that was hard I loved the concept, and I won't talk about other girls anymore when we're on the phone. I might slip a couple of times though.
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good write made me think about what was going on...
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Very Good
I felt your heartache in these words
It make me wonder for the outcome
I wish you well
Rick -
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hey thank you for your kind comment. Can you perhaps read my newest work. I love your comment and i will return the favor. Your my AP father
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"Shall I not be envious of his desire?
To paint of another women’s beauty
To use his hands and not my time
And shun it upon our kitchen wall
The wall that we painted our sweet love"
good poem!
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