Here it is,
running intoxicated,
loose on my breath
it's the best I've ever seen,
the circle that announces the fires that purified us
in ruining our wills
paint splintered from masks too bright in garish relief.
leaving freed for visions of the edge
dropped into the antipodes.
fresh from insane hemmorhages, staining my opening.
Well, I had to rip myself somehow
testing my skin in smoke and base line infidelity.
welcome my purpose, breaking off reality for experimentation
To taste the night I must stop time and figure a new name for this dreaming
or go back to whiskey bottle and broken glass gleaming on my floor
small dry scentless leaves of the old pasttime littered in my revelations
or ravings
Not deciding, that makes it simple, and too real
up here and transitory it can burn
borrowing the high from my paler leanings
mad, i found bodies,
dancers, flushed and ready they slide,
tearing their spines out through their hips on the stage altar
the focus of our descent
my descant wanderings.
one and all, crawling in my palms through smoke, new omens.
rituals and prophesies of deaths that breed me whole and sacred
pulling the dark one's hair apart to see her skull
and her hips for love of the unnamed.
too thick, the smell of it
damning,
sweat and skin plagued with sex, smooth and sticky in the night,
they're hungering for the river.
Author notes
"I swear in that moment, We were infinite"
A contest entry
- Infinite, 10,000 points. by InfiniteCaitlin.
12000 points, ended July 2, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This effort is a troubling, chaotic, musing that assails its audience with black images of suffering, and strangely, rebirth. These are odd concepts to intertwine, and I can't say that I have ever seen it done before, to my memory. But in the vein of its-the-best-of-this-sort-I-have-ever-seen, I can offer that the sentiment is not watered down. There is something about the way you push to connect to your audience, always keeping us right on the edge of our seats, waiting to see where you go with the next line. And, interestingly (more so, even) that effect doesn't fade much with re-readings. In that sense this piece is like a dark cave and we are spelunkers - our flashlights dim, but ready - set to explore the design that you have created here. This piece is compelling in the sense of the mystery that it provides, even if, in the end, there are no real answers.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
hmmm, I really didnt like the begining. A bit poor, and not as strong as the rest. But the rest of the poem was very captivating, and very well put. Not really Infintie, but deffintly better than alot of poetry That I have seen here. A great write taht can't go unacknowledged of genuine skill. It just lacks that Infinite quality Im looking for.
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"breaking off reality for experimentation"
Niice. :]
"tearing their spines out through their hips on the stage altar"
Oh boy. I cringed. >.> I'm not one for pain and such. Haha. Nice line.
Good job with imagery. : -
"Well, I had to rip myself somehow
testing my skin in smoke and base line infidelity.
welcome my purpose, breaking off reality for experimentation
To taste the night I must stop time and figure a new name for this dreaming"
ohhh1 this is nice!!
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