Can you see my tears of black
The ones which burn holes in my skin.
As another night is wasted, alone
The acidic river floods my face.
This heart of black, too dead to cry
Trying to resurrect what will never be.
Taste the pain within my words
And you will know what I have sacrificed.
Bittersweet pain, all that remains
Within this dead heart, a void so hollow
Mechanical abyss, spewing angry, red tears
From the hole in my soul that will never heal.
Will you kick me to the ground
Spit in my face, and wish me dead
Until the last tear falls from my nightmare sky
And my eyes are black with your indifference?
Cut me like a thousand knives
And pour the salt upon my grave.
Listen to me scream as your eyes scorch my flesh
Punishing, raping me, with your evil eyes.
So leave me to die, and you know I will still show you
The forgiveness that you do not deserve.
Kill you quickly, mercilessly
And drown you in my diseased infinity.
It's too late to say you're sorry, love.
You are defenseless against my jaded immortality.
You cannot say you loved me; No tears can save you now
For in my time of dying, you threw me to the wolves.
So I drink the blood of our dying love
And the metallic taste eats at my core
As I wish upon dead stars for the rape to cease
I fall upon my knees to welcome my tragic end.
Author notes
Immortal Obscurity
My mind works in twisted ways, so this is what it came up with. Like most of my best work, inspired by hate and pain. Enjoy the sadism!
Inspired by the song, "Bother", by Stone Sour.
In a list
A contest entry
- OPEN FOR ALL- Give me your best by Razor-Blade Romance.
440 points, ended November 22, 2007, 32 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cry, Give back my voice by Mow.
450 points, ended March 8, 2008, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Something Sad by LittleDecoy.
900 points, ended August 31, 2008, 85 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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this is definitely something i was hoping would enter my contest.
the play on words is awesome. it's one of my favorite poems that i've read yet.
it's dark and passionate, full of emotion.
LOVE IT!!
"It's too late to say you're sorry, love.
You are defenseless against my jaded immortality."
those lines are some of my favorites from your poem.
awesome poem! good luck in my contest.
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awesome
this one here is probably my favaorite so far. great job i really like reading your work.
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This is both dark and sad, I feel your pain, if it's based on actual feelings you have. I like it though, it makes me understand I'm truly not the only one who has had periods of time feeling this way [as I sure have, no questions asked]. Beautifully written though, very tragic!
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tragic, emotional, and dark, my three favorite catorgories
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Well this was very dark wonderful job
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i just want to know how you are able to pour so much raw emotion into your writes. honestly you're like a chef with your words. this write totally emobodies the feelings that i felt back in November of 2006 when my fiance got killed in a car accident.
this is a poem that i wrote about that.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3573196 -
Lovely write. As dark as I like dark to be. I really enjoyed your poem. I particularly liked this part:
"It's too late to say you're sorry, love.
You are defenseless against my jaded immortality.
You cannot say you loved me; No tears can save you now
For in my time of dying, you threw me to the wolves.
So I drink the blood of our dying love
And the metallic taste eats at my core
As I wish upon dead stars for the rape to cease
I fall upon my knees to welcome my tragic end. "
I'm a dark poet too and I guess I know what it takes to write about bad times.
Hugssss and keep sharing. Let writing be a vent to your angst.
And yeah , I'm always here if you should need an ear or a shoulder.
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Powerful
This is the second poem of yours I read and I'm stunned by the strength of your writing. The scenery your manage to create is incredible. Pretty nice job!
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Dark and twisted, yes. Liked the flow and the images you shared in these lines. Easy to read and understand, and a gold winner too. Way to go.
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This is a very nice start to me researching and reading the rest of your work.
Well done for this remarkable piece -
I``m speechless
So powerful words,sure can resurrect the dead
a sacrifice of love
is it worth loving so strongly?
then again love is a sacrifice,by giving your innermost
to someone that you love
loved it,thanks
Nick
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Fabulously written...thanks so much for sharing... I loved it! I'm looking forward to reading more of your work
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It's too late to say you're sorry, love.
You are defenseless against my jaded immortality.
You cannot say you loved me; No tears can save you now
For in my time of dying, you threw me to the wolves
I found this very sad.Somebody once wrote this in AP:
The love that you can never have, feels the strongest, lasts the longest and hurts the most.
How true -
MmmmHmmm. That I did so like. It's well written and I'm somewhat thankful i read your authors page first. *chuckles at the ex-boyfriend part*
I loved this poem, its brilliant and wonderful and I actually am meant to be thanking you for commenting on my poem so thank-you.
Claire-Anne
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Hmm.. A very intense and piercing write...full of tears and anger as well... very deep.. It cut right through me and I could feel the blood oozing out.. wonderful write!
The whole picture has been painted in colors like red and black.. all powerful... ofcourse, in a negative way. Basically, the main theme of the poem is very strong and that's exactly what you have crafted the whole poem around..It's very difficult to stick to the theme in such poems.. but you have not once lost the track... I must congratulate you for this.
The whole poem is quite intense.. but to me, the most intense part is the following
"Cut me like a thousand knives
And pour the salt upon my grave.
Listen to me scream as your eyes scorch my flesh
Punishing, raping me, with your evil eyes."
I am amazed at the excellent quality of talent we have here...
Thank you for entering the Raven Qualifier and Good Luck!
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I love how dark and beautiful this is. Nicely done!
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thank you for you wonderful comment on my poem. this poem is really really good the imagery is fantastic very well done to you xx
laura xxx
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such an intense write. you really capture the pain and anger well. I love your twists in your poetry. your writing is very interesting.
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Ouch! This sure is dark, a pain etched so very deeply to pierce your beautiful heart. But cuts heal and leave tiny traces of a scar that teach valuable lessons in future.
This is very well expressed and has allowed a stream to pour your pain into, the blessings of poetry because releasing it helps us to overcome it. Getting it out is halfway to healing, simply because it has been acknowledged.
Love you sweetie,
Mum
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