The shadows still linger,
motionless yet vital
a conquering quest
to a darkened past;
I was a success.
Derranged and impartial
I fumble through life,
in and out of rehab
vexed on defeating
(and living)
this illness;
maybe just one more drink.
But the mind is cloudy;
memories are scribbled
on the wall
and it all seems to be a dream;
I can't fight a fight
I don't want to win.
Maybe the light is upon me,
cautiously I'll shield my eyes
and I'll sit alone
(shaking)
in my darkness.
A contest entry
- Ensnarement of Sorrow [ a dark poetry contest ] by gasolinequeen.
445 points, ended August 22, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want To Win a Contest? by ArmorXForXSleep.
360 points, ended July 31, 2007, 154 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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'the darkest hour is just before the dawn'
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vexed on defeating
(and living)
this illness;
^ love those lines.... I don't know why... they're just great. Love your writing! ♥ xx Eriiin -
wow this is really good, i love that ending it is perfect. you have a great talent for words. very well done, this is beautiful
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Wow this is really great, and sad. So relatable to everyone. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
whisper
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Wow.."vexed on defeating (and living) this illness"...This is an amazing write...You have described a couple of different illnesses here in (my darkness)alcohol and mental...wonderful vivid descriptions and excellent flow...I hope everything is okay with you...Take care
Wyatt xxx
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"But the mind is cloudy;
memories are scribbled
on the wall
and it all seems to be a dream;"
Beautiful hun!!! You managed to make me jealous once again. This piece was great and defined your name so well.
Love ya.
Despair
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great job. i can see the person here actually struggling against this disease. wonderfully done and good luck in that contest.
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Many have been here, wow this was indeed powerful read. Very descriptive, the emotion as well. well penned poet. Best wishes.Tory
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Excellent write....
Thank you for sharing such a personal and powerful write..
Peace be with you...
~M~
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a very deep poem in its sense, so many lines to ponder. a very descriptive one too...but the only problem with this is you the theme background you choose for this poem. the color is too strong againts the fonts you used, as such the poem is dominated by the color of the background, if not why not make the fonts white, with this color fonts somehow it will contrast the color of the background. Mine is just a suggestion. to sum it all your poem has substance and the flow of each line are very smooth. Goodluck to the contest.
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Wow
Very powerful piece you have penned here, and it is true that you cannot fight a fight against alcoholism if you don't want to beat it. I know this, I'm an Alcoholic...This reminded me of who I am...Thank you so very much...Scott
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Very Mysterious!
One can only guess the illness, possibly alcoholism - depression. Trying to shield out the world alone.
This has much depth!
Very nice!
I wish you the best in the contest!
Tang
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Oh my!
Now that is some darkness you've written about. Very descriptive. Hope this poem was not the real you! good luck in the contest.
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Is this poem about alcoholism? It seems that, but is definitely about fighting an addiction, and how hard that truly is. If you don't have someone there to help you along with it, it becomes all but impossible. If this poem is about you, I truly hope you find that person to help you with it. If it's about someone you know, I hope perhaps you can be that helping hand. No one needs to go through this life alone, even if every day we feel lonely. Great imagery
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this poem is indeed about alcoholism and myself.. but when i was referring to my illness i was speaking more about my mental health.. i'm glad you enjoyed and could understand this, thank you so much..
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