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Absolution

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Absolution

Yea, thou cometh before me once too oft’.
For I am charged to cast thee in Bridewell.
Thy audience pleases with voice so soft;
Shall I divide the child to make all well?
Lest thou enamor me I have no choice,
'Tis not I but my throne has been defiled.
Whereby thy pleas so come in softend voice,
And black begets white as mouths spew wild.
Thy ‘sblood in kine hast bid me prevalence;
The road to hell, paved with good intentions,
To wit; thou spakest thy benevolence.
Thou seekest grace of my interventions,
    Yet umbrage admits to God's lower world.
    I shall thole thy thistles with love unfurled.

 

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Author notes

Old English definations:
Bridewell: prison
'sblood; 1600, oath of surprise or anger, altered from (by) God's wounds! It was originally a very offensive exclamative, often considered immensely blasphemous. Used often in Shakespearian literature, alongside zounds
kine: castle
thole: to bear; put up with; suffer

Sonnet
Sonnets are formal poems and consist of 14 lines (3 quatrains and a couplet) , traditionally written in iambic pentameter - that is, in lines ten syllables long, with accents falling on every second syllable.
source: shadowpoetry.com

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Comments

1 - 38 of 38

  • Lyndon gold member
    October 17, 2008

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    You have re-created

    an olde manuscript. However, if you are going to use very early Modern English, be consistent with all necessary functional elements of language. Why not "pleaseth"?
    'Hast been defiled'?
    And, would it not be "Thou seekest grace"?
    I know it is difficult to adopt the early form of Modern English and, really, I did not require it.
    You, dear poet, have written a fine sonnet with variance by meter reversals. The rhyme scheme is English of the C16 to early C17.
    Thank you for the pleasure of this poem.

  • Judith Chandler
    October 16, 2008

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    Even if you hadn't provided the mini dictionary, I would have been impressed by the language. It flows so well and I think you have caught the mood of those times.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    July 27, 2008

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    hehehehehe love this to a T..and the bg is gorgeous, wonderfully written and keep it up *hugs*
    Stephanie ♥


  • creationsfromheart
    April 22, 2008

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    I love this believe it or not this is my favorite form of poetry to read, it pulls me back in to a world I some how long for, like it was a time of my past life, Sounds crazy , but hey we all had to come from somewhere , maybe I am from the 18th century hehe, love this one also.


  • Seraph
    January 2, 2008

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    Very nice. Truly an English Sonnet. Your mastery of the language is quite impressive. Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest!

    -Sera-


  • seamaiden
    October 1, 2007

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    You have written a most wonderful piece of work with this sonnet and the gold speaks for itself. And He asked, "Shall I divide the child to make all well?". These are very powerful words that He spoke as two mothers fought over who the child belonged to. Only the true mother would give the child up before letting them be harmed. Absolution is God's way and you most definitely presented a perfect tale to tell of it. My thanks to you for directing me to this one. Congratulations on the gold again. Keep up the beautiful writing poet. seamaiden ♥


  • mborda
    August 30, 2007

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    Well Written, indeed!

    It takes talent to pull something like this off! Well done, my friend!
    I love a poem that makes you breath in every word.
    High marks from me!

    Monique


  • captain howdy
    August 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    *whistles* This is a piece of art!


  • Pisces Pieces
    August 25, 2007

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    Okay, well I can't believe you lost the sister contest, but, I know how those can go. I won't pretend I didn't have to read this over a few times to understand it, which I hope I do. Does it tell the story of some kind of betrayal? And the need for the intervention and mercy of a higher power?

    I love the picture!

    It is very beautiful, the way it reads in it's elegant form. Something that one might expect to find in a book from long ago.

    Well, it is wonderful, and I can see why you are regarded so highly! Thank you for sending it, I'm glad to have read, and I always learn something from those things I did not understand at first read You should definitely be proud of your talent, you are amazing at writing!!

    Take care!


  • Arrianna MacEwan
    August 18, 2007

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    The moment I read this work I knew that the Author knows what they are doing. I applaud thee a thousand times

  • Eusebius
    July 20, 2007

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    Nifty, and deftly done! I would certainly be unable to reproduce this language! fine... bravo.. bravo... bravo...


  • Tercil gold member
    July 13, 2007

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    Now, how does it, that I see yea as the fair maiden who has aquired so much in skill it rocks, and to lose to you would indeed be so given. Excellent format as well as the Englishness you portray. 3 What you call its.


  • RedAquarius
    June 14, 2007

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    I love the word 'umbrage' and to see it here, in an absolutely beautiful era piece is a treat indeed! Just utterly amazing!


  • Bedroom Eyes
    June 9, 2007

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    Amera...I AM a fan of era written pieces, and this took my on a journey to an age that I find intriguing. You have wonderful style and diversity in your poems...a true sign of a well rounded and learned poet. A quality that I respect and admire.

    This piece has excellent flow and wisdom. You really are a wonderful poet. Great work Amera, on this brilliant write

    Good luck to you in the contest!


  • Whoochi gold member
    June 9, 2007

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    Am not a big fan of era poetry myself yet this did captivate me..such rich imagery and once again, always teaching me...Well done!


  • yoopea
    June 9, 2007

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    excellent sonnet

    very few poems written in old english are even worth reading.

    this one was :]

    my favorite line is
    "and black begets white as mouths spew wild"

    (i only have two free applauses left, but imagine there are three. haha, sorry)


  • xxniccixx
    June 8, 2007

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    Wow this was a very great poem. It made me think of a queen. it was beautiful. Whereby pleas cometh in softest voice was a good line. It made me feel powerful as well. I didn't understand the last line though.


    • Amera gold member
      June 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! Yea the last line is pure old English
      "I shall thole thy thistles with love unfurled."
      Means:

      I'll put up with your crap because I love you.

      thole = to bear; put up with; suffer
      thistles = thornes or a pain in the ass
      LOL


  • Biciaksr
    June 8, 2007

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    Different

    I am not into the whole old English thing so I'm glad you had your author's note and that your poem was good enough to keep me reading the whole thing...It's different and symbolic and I like that =)


  • Spiritvision angel
    June 8, 2007

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    once again your talent shines through in this form and style of perfect imagery and flow. the backgrond and everything is so elegent as are your talents.


  • Peteskid gold member
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    a wonderful sonnet

    this sonnet is perfectly made, balanced in rhyme and meter, and written very well, it has a meaningful narration on virtue and tolerance, perhaps even forgiveness; so very well done here...PK


  • DK akaLunaticSerene gold member
    June 8, 2007

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    Wow! This is so damn good, I'm speachless!
    Verily, mine liege, thou hast stolen the wit from mine tongue, and my poor words have no hope of expressing how prettily thou hast spake! I may only say that thy regal expression is unrivaled by the most gifted of bards, and strikes the ear like the call of a songbird!
    xxoo
    dk


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    June 8, 2007

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    Ackaromba

    This is a style of poem I enjoyed reading but ackaromba because of all the old english wording through out but then again I really loved this poem too. Great job all round with this poem and just really enjoyed the way it flows. very well penned and keep on penning away these very beautiful poems


  • crivanea silver member
    June 8, 2007

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    hmmmmm..when i read this..i was thinking back to my history class..kinda reminded me a Queen Mary..the beginning of the poem reminded me a trail..and it seems to involve a family w/ a child..but it seems..even as the family plea w/ the Queen..she refuses them..very nice piece..i love it..although it took me a while to understand teh Shakespearan writing..wonderful..creative and a beautiful sonnet also..nice job


  • blueyez
    June 4, 2007

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    wow this really leaves me in awe! To write a sonnet is beauty in its' own right but when you do it in old english it's just amazing! I find it so difficult to write in old english and you seem to have done it with class and ease! I admire you as well as I feel inspired by your talent! Very impressive penning in this remarkable write! Peace and Love


    • Amera gold member
      June 5, 2007
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      Thanks girlfriend! I really appreciate you reading this one. I thought you would like it. I was hurt by someone and then got an “after the fact apology” hence the absolution. I have thick skin and it’s best to just avoid people who blow you off.


  • ellipsist
    June 4, 2007
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    this is truly wonderful

    and inspiring... what a beautiful use of language


    • Amera gold member
      June 4, 2007
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      ellipsist

      Thank you for reading my poetry. You've read several of my poems and as soon as I get a chance, I'll be over to your house to read yours. (I'm at work now). Again thank you and I hope we can become friends.


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    June 4, 2007

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    For the first time I'm lost for words this is wonderful! and the story behind it really jumps out at you...This has winner wrote all over it thank you so much for sharing


  • FlaviusArrianus
    June 4, 2007

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    This poem was lovely Amera, you are fantastic at form poetry. I don't know how you do it. This was a great pen.


  • Desire gold member
    June 3, 2007

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    Wow!!

    Beautiful verse You have penned with such a presentation I adore!
    Love the form You chose Busy bee
    and Form Queen

    Gorgeous!! Like You

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    June 3, 2007

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    This is beautiful! I, too, love era written poetry and you've done a fine job with this write! All the very best to you in this contest!


  • Bedroom Eyes
    June 3, 2007
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    I am a big fan of era written poetry. I'm pleased that you chose to enter one such poem here. I would, however, request that you add your pen name to the author's notes ok? Thanks!

    • Amera gold member
      June 3, 2007
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      sorry! I don't have a pen name. I put my real name in the box.


  • Dalaney gold member
    June 3, 2007

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    You are timeless...beauty personified
    in the poetry that you create. I don't
    know how you do it, time and time again,
    but I am so happy that you do, my friend.
    Love to you, Lane

    • Amera gold member
      June 3, 2007
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      Thanks Lane, I love you too. More than you know.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    June 3, 2007

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    Oh sis! This is a true beauty of a write! The olde english language shines with beauty in this and is appropriate to the content.

    This was a true pleasure to read

    Thank you for sharing such a delightful piece.

    Love you always.

    Laura


  • Swan song gold member
    June 3, 2007

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    Diod yoiu know there are some wjho say that Shakespere was a waoman. After reading this work I think i tcpould be possible. I thnik that is all that I need to say in regards to your write here.

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