You leave this life
Quietly and fast
Like the edge of a knife
That is softly cast
Life fades away
Unnoticed and meek
Like the end of the day
So sadly bleak
Our memories fade
As life is lost
This unfair trade
Carries a painful cost
Each and every breath
We blindly take
Is closer to death
Our life we forsake
Author notes
luciferschild
A contest entry
- Truth of Life contest Round ONE by xandercheerios.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 30 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - silver I by Salty Hibiscus.
450 points, ended February 6, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emo/ Death/ Abuse by Violent Glass.
550 points, ended February 13, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any poems. by Blue-Rose Beauty.
1750 points, ended April 1, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like it.
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this was great
i loved the flow
and how you wrote it
thanx for entering my contest! -
painful, indeed. life is funny sometimes, i guess. great write. thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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This is perfect. It flows and rhymes perfectly. It is sad but I love it.
The best bit is
Each and every breath
We blindly take
Is closer to death
Our life we forsake
But the rest is really good too.
Jenny
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Very Thought provoking.
I must say this was written very well my friend.
Our memories fade
As life is lost
This unfair trade
Carries a painful cost
I could almost feel a twinge of pain here!
Good job here!
Good luck in the contest.
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Ah, loverly! The end is perfect, closing it on a soft, yet morbid note. You think you'll be able to continue a theme from this into next round? Or possibly for 9 more rounds? I'll see you for sure next round
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I too am speachless. And I too think this is an amazing poem. The rhyming just seems to come naturally to you. None of it seems forced. And it flowed brilliantlly. If I had to rate this poem on a scale from one to ten . . . I'd give it a deffinate ten and a half lol. Great work . . . and keep it up!!!!!!!
Megan -
Wow. I am speechless. . .this was amazing.
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