Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Life's Merry Go Round

Missing image

 

 

Merry-Go-Round
Life’s abound
Wind-kissed face
Life’s a chase
Splendid views
Brilliant hues
Cotton candy scents
Wafts of life’s events
Hang on tight
Fear takes flight
Belly  butterflies dance
Dare to chance
Spinning, spinning, round and round
The carousel, like life,

is up and

down

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

~whoochi~

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • nlacey216
    June 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I love it

    I love this poem, you could not have put reality any clearer. This poem makes me think of myself and some of the things I have done and the risk I have taken in my life. Very well written.


  • Hebz
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!

    Very positive view of life at last..

    Very excellent write..Like it alot...

    Thanks alot for entering my contest & best of luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


  • Janetheplain
    June 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    OH SOO TRUE!!

    I love this it totally explains the way life is!! I love the comparison between life and the merry go round, completely original!! Awesome job, Jane

    My fave parts:

    Merry-Go-Round
    Life’s abound
    Wind-kissed face
    Life’s a chase
    The carousel, like life,

    is up and

    down


  • Congruence
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    funfair

    Very Good

    I liked this - very concise and well put together, i liked the images you created within the lines - really liked the last three lines, think they end the poem perfectly.


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    June 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    amazing


  • Floorboards
    June 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, what superb imagery! i have to admit i was worried when i seen the title, but you've done a fantastic job, well done whooch!
    bro'


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This really brought back some wonderful childhood memories of fairs and amusement parks..It also had alot of metaphors. This was a great piece..
    Soulful Woman

  • Aurora Ceres
    June 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic babes! Very true and a wonderfil comparisson. Shoot, I gots ta give you credit for using the word 'wafts' in a poem to! It all came toether perfectly!
    'Hang on tight
    Fear takes flight
    Belly butterflies dance
    Dare to chance' My faaaaaaavoite lines! I think Ima lil dizzy....someone stop and let me off!


  • Nature Song silver member
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think we all liked that ride at fairs and carnivals when we were younger. We would pick out our favorite horse and ride with the wind, carefree for a litle while. Too bad we can 't be kids again! Lovely poem ~Sie


  • astralshepherd gold member
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    there is a wonderful child-like simplicity to this, tho it is far from childish - it is a very deep poem of life that may be missed in a casual read, the metaphor is wonderful and the gentle rhymes make this a joy to read. Ya know when i go to Disneyland , to this day, i will still ride the merry go round, i guess i’ve never really ever grown up, just old.

    Blessings and best wishes, ~richard

  • livehert4us
    June 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    splendid

    true emotions of a loving parent its so close to my heart. what a true gift to be able to put feelings to elegant words.


  • eyesofanangel524
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Life is very much like an amusement ride. You have penned it ever so cleverly. YOur metaphores provide a whimsical side showing that life can be difficult..but still has some of lifes finer things.. .


  • Roaddog Wolf
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    fun write I read before and thought I commented but I guess not but I liked this"Spinning, spinning, round and round
    The carousel, like life,

    is up and

    down" this is so true. good write

  • A floatingleaf silver member
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed this one...such a colorful description of life...

  • Mercury Rising
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I just love the colorful carnival atmosphere in this truly delightful poem. I think I'll go try and win and cupie doll by the double-ferris wheel, hold my balloons!

    David


  • ChildeOfChaos
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome Woochi! I love it!


  • Blueskywonder
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is AWSOME!!
    i love the metaphoric value of this piece aswell as its turbulent tumbling through the piece like i was on a fair ride. This is EXCELLENT


  • A Simple Wordsmith
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    It's a nice jolly poem with a great swinging rhythm, I like it


  • Luna Tique Fringe
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh, Yeah!! Girl, ya nailed it..to the wall!!


  • aliceramone
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    good rockin rhythm to this merry go round...and so true,well done


  • Laura
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ohhh wow the flow is perfect... its one of those poems that you can say really really fast brilliant stuff love it xxx


  • xandercheerios
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I like this whoochi! Very fluttery and fun. I can't wait to see how this theme gets continued into next round (can't YET promise you're in, but I'd assume you are) good luck!


  • Keith Drew gold member
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    More downs than ups LOL.
    But this poem is certainly one of the ups!


  • ProudMomma
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I REALLY ENJOYED THIS PEOEM!!!! I LOVE THE WAY YOU USED THE MERRY GO ROUND!! AND THIS IS VERY TRUE!!!! I ENJOYED READING BEGINING TO END!!!! GREAT WRITE AND GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST


  • Chanting Whisper
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awwww, so cute and short.


  • Dalaney gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    No doubt about it...this is a winner.
    You have perfectly and very poetically
    described my life, too, and I am sure
    a lot of others on this site. I love
    the simple style you have sometimes -
    yet, always capturing so much within
    a few lines. Love, Lane

  • Francis Vincent
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    like a giant haiku
    very positive


  • Bedroom Eyes
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Round & round she goes, where she stops...ah we all know the saying

    "Dare to chance..."

    "The carousel, like life,

    is up and

    down"


    What is life without risk? No risk, no reward. These are the most significant lines to me in the write. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest, and even more so on the merry-go-round of life


  • Swan song gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There was a cute one, That muse is returning I see.
    Life is like a fair ride how true. I love the zipper.
    Anyways A very nice poem.


  • smiley
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Enjoyed

    I enjoyed this ride upon the carousel of life.. I have thought that life was like a roller coaster.. go figure it can be a carousel too... Good luck in this contest.

    Yvonne

  • Napoet
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this one very much. Life is like a carousel, and sometimes it can make those "belly butterflies" really flutter!! Great write!!


  • DJ Harley silver member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    vry lovely poem whoochi, i like merry go rounds, and life is like one for sure.
    well done.

  • Roaddog Wolf
    June 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    another good write

    you seem to have a special talent for putting alot of imagery and meaning into such few words and like this one they all read well too thanks for shaing.


  • Naridill gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh you beautiful cookie, this was scumtious. I want to eat it up, i loved it. Simple but strong. I am glad your muse is finally co-operating with you.


  • soulfultia gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Smooth as butta! Few words but such an impacting write. You deliver excellent rhythm and rhyme with this picture ispiration and fill in the emotions and feelings needed to give it the full impact it needed! Excellent work sista! Always a pleasure to read your work! ~Tia


  • Amera gold member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I have watched your poetry get better and better. This is great, penned with a staccato movement and true intonation it flows to a wonderful and vivid image. Well done gurl!

    Love,
    Amera ♥

1 - 36 of 36