born on the bycintinial
in the green gras of the riviera,
a perlecent puburty perhaps,
but i am that man no longr
tho i've yet to remane sober
to cure this ich,
but peece with god has ben made
Grasshopers sit in the maple tree with me
sharing stories and tales of denyall,
but they're to small to ever admit,
and I'm to young to grow old,
yet the tick-tick-ticking of my isolation
gives this fever less reeson to pass.
I feel the difference deep inside,
so I keep a distance,
born on the Bicentennial
in the green grass of the Riviera,
I will find my way back
into the hands and the grace of God,
after forty years, I say goodbye.
Author notes
Yes, I know there are errors. They are there intentionally. There were two inspirations for this, the first being a local man found dead in the woods who his son described as something of a genius who disappeared for months and took to drinking. The change in writing symbolizes the end of this man's life when he reportedly checked into a help shelter a few months before he died, where he told his son he had found God and stopped drinking. The second inspiration is a book, which any who have read it will understand the horrible spelling and punctuation that changes into something much more legible. Anyone know the book?
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Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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I liked this. As far as I know denyall is not a word, but a combination of two, as an alternative to denial, which I loved!!! I have no problem with making up words when they are pretty straight forward. Anyway, I liked the richness of this piece. very clever. It can't be about yourself though from your picture..no way your 40.
Fine Work,
Creatress
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i read Flowers for Algernon when I was in eighth grade and i just loved the book, we also watched the movie too, it wasnt as good as the book, but still very good. I like how your poem has that. At first I was like, its spelled wrong! but i understand now. Good Luck!
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Beautiful
Simply beautiful.
~Pam 
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Thank you so much, Pam. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the applause.
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My Pleasure.
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Flowers for Algernon, in fact, I just read that book about a month ago. The title is very similar,that is what make me click this link. Great write. Come by sometime and read a few of mine :]
-HD
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Flowers for Algernon! That book made me cry... :,(
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A most fantastic piece of poetry!
I'm at a loss for words but do know that I think this is amazing writing and I thank you so much for sharing it -
Splendid , loved the 2 different perspectives. Awful tragedy, I myself wrote one about a Homeless Man who changed my life...Funny, people we have never met impact our daily lives...this is true art done here with gripping images....RIP!
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So sorry for replying so late. Thank you so much for the compliments and applause. Do you have that poem posted? I'd love to read it. Thanks again, Whoochi.
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First off very good. I liked how you did that two, with the changing of it and all. Such a horrible story though.
Second, don't think I know the book, although it sounds like one that is defenitely worth reading. Good job with this poem. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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The book is "Flowers for Algernon." It's definitely a great read, yet I haven't read it in years. I'm pleased you liked this, and hopefully it was somewhat hopeful, as it was sad. Thank you for your comments.
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great job, i think the spelling and grammer were great also they help in the story once you read notes and go back to read... great job
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great job i love this one
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Great
Amazing Poem i really liked this poem......
Great Write...
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I really like this. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the book is Flowers For Algernon? I had to read it last year for English. Good book.That's actually immdiately what I thought of when I saw the title.
Have a wonderful day,
FallenPoeticAngel
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Nope, you're right. That was the book. That was the main inspiration for the style, since the book was what I thought of when I read about the man in the paper. Thanks for the kind words.
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wow thats depressing
but it was very thought provoking at the same time i loved the compassion you show for your writting and it seems for others as well great flow and nice job -
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Thank you so much for the feedback. It was a sad story, but I hope the end was a little uplifting. I wanted to express what the man's son believed, that his father was happy at the end. I'm glad you enjoyed this.
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I really liked it
After I read your author note. Loved the descriptions, sounds like you had great inspiration. The first two lines hooked me, and I loved the part about stting in the trees with the grasshoppers, the whole fourth stanza, basically.
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I was worried people might not understand or pass over it completely since the beginning has such bad spelling and punctuation.
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