You never saw the scars
My frumpy clothes hid
The self-inflicted pain
Or the mottled bruises
Did You?
You never heard my silent pleas
The screams from deep inside
The sorrows I couldn't replace
Or the crying in my heart
Did You?
You never saw my falling tears
I tried so hard to hide
The inner battles raging on
Or my open, festering wounds
Did You?
Were you looking?
Were you listening?
You only saw my open arms
Held there for love of you
I took your fears and banished them
You took me for granted
Didn't You?
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by californiagirl.
300 points, ended September 20, 2007, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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To often we can take and not give, not realising what this is not only doing to the other person, but also not noticing what the other's pain and problems may be as we become so self obsessed.
This piece adresses that very well, the pain and dissapointment being very evident.
Good write and congrats on silver.
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Oh wow! This is very powerful. Great write. I seriously loved it. Thank you for your entry.
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strong emotions and feeling that can be held in check
when one writes poems like this is hard and you did an excellent job with it
be proud of this poem
Riftkin -
This poem has strong emotions you held them in check perfectly and still filtered out enough to make the poem powerful. This is why I am having such a hard time judging because this is a poem to be proud of
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I think a lot of people on this website will relate to this poem. Realize that this won't last forever and soon it will pass. Just give it some time.
and yes, most people take others for granted. -
great entry
i really enjoyed this poem. Your form is great, i love how you repeated the line "did you" that really put emphisis on your message. You have done an amazing job with this poem and you have talent. Dont stop wrighting! My favorite part of the poem was
"You only saw my open arms
Held there for love of you
I took your fears and banished them
You took me for granted
Didn't You?"
Those lines are so powerful. You have done an amazing job. This poem is breathtaking. Keep up the good work
Take care
Countychick06
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Wonderful Entry
this is great! From start to finish you continued to draw the reader in...non stop wording perfectly.
Such a wonderful talent you have, shown emtoins from deep within, the hurt, the pain, well spoken.
Keep writing, you are well in doing this.
Ephiphany -
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Thankyou for your great comment, it is appreciated. Take care Xx
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Wow. This is beyond ahmazing. The fact I can relate to this poem so much just puts me in awe.
"You took me for granted
Didn't You?"
Yupppp! I can for sure relate to those lines, and I also love the repetition on "Did you?," how you used it at the end of each stanza, and then at the end of the last stanze you wrote "Didn't you?"
GREATTT way to end this piece.
"You never saw my falling tears
I tried so hard to hide
The inner battles raging on
Or my open, festering wounds
Did You?"
Those lines are verrry powerful, and there's a lot of pain in your words.
Great write!
I'm glad I got to read this! Thanks for sharing<3
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Thankyou for this awesome comment, it is greatly appreciated. And thanks for the applause. Take care Xx
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Wow... this struck a nerve... it feels almost exactly like what happened with my ex and me... just... wow... this is def worthy of applause!!!!!!!! I love it...
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Thankyou for your comment, and I'm sorry if you had to gothrough this. take care Xx
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Powerful
As always a very powerful emotion showing true beuty in the worst of emotions. I take my hat off too you and wish you bright blessings so you may recover from this with love and light.
Blessed be
Chris
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Love it! I've felt like this so many times. Dear snaddypopz, is this hypothetical or true? xxx
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