shes sitting in the dark tonight
no blue lights;no p
a
s
s
i
n
g
cars
shes left with only her thoughts
in the corners of her[thoughtfilled]mind.
the wind shifts;lifts
as her room changes in light patterns
across the[topped off]white washed walls.
her stomach feels intoxicated
as she begs for sleep to come;
but she can smell the sauce&spice;
the cologne he wasn't really wearing.
music plays[only]in her ears
from the hanging[twisting]white cords
&& the shiny aluminum card
(hidden beneath her love f.o.r.g.o.t.t.e.n sheets)
the words, the meaning behind
are her life in print&beats
[they say goodbye in each sound&sway
by every passing beat]
shes starting new for today[the next]
for each future to become who she was before
no more losing perfect balance&&control
&no more forgotten adventures
from intoxication and that[g o r g e o u s]high
coursing through her blood[too often]
in the end she paid too much
& shes devastatingly b/r/o/k/e/n
theres no more touching
and no more blanketed affection
the smell of smoke has left her clothes
&& the alcohol no longer sticks
stale on her breath[no more mountain dew]
and what if the end really meant forever?
because here it goes again-
what if she goes back to that?
[[the alcohol, the cigarettes;
the weed && the sex--
the beautiful numbing lies
that took over every part of
her [b/r/o/k/e/n]tear stained life]]
m. m. o'malley
6-1-07
12 33 a m
Author notes
Dirty Pretty ♥"
‘.i.n.t.o.x.i.c.a.t.i.n.g. l i e s’
i used option 5 & somewhat #7
the addiction in this is to who i used to be, but i'm afraid to go back to her because it only hurt constantly. but most addictions hurt like hell.
beauty of pain--
option 5
the addiction is to WHO i USED TO BE-x
let me know what you think.
©♥
A contest entry
- Dirty Pretty [lots of options] by Dancing Marionette.
425 points, ended June 20, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The beauty of pain. by Jai Guru Deva.
700 points, ended August 6, 2007, 81 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty ♥ by Page Deleted..
425 points, ended July 11, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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***in the end she paid too much
& shes devastatingly b/r/o/k/e/n
theres no more touching
and no more blanketed affection***
I love that part.
Thanks for entering && best of luck.
Keira
-- blackwood.baby -
I love this poem, && the form is really good.
Fave lines: [[the alcohol, the cigarettes;
the weed && the sex--
the beautiful numbing lies
that took over every part of
her [b/r/o/k/e/n]tear stained life]]
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honestly, those are my least favorite lines. lol.
but im happy somebody like them.
thanks so much honey♥
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Amazing.
Good addiction tp pick. Not many people realize that the most common addiction these days is to one's self.
Good job and good luck -
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thanks.
im glad you liked it.
♥.love.
HisPrettyLady
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I love how you spaced out "passing" and I just love this whole poem. I hope you win that contest, deary! Beautiful write. ♥ Erin xx
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thanks so much for the comment.
im glad you liked it.
i hopei win too.
♥.Love.Molli.
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wow. i think thats the only thing i can say or think right about now. your writing was breathtaking. This has got to be so hard on you, going back to someone you dont want to be. I'm kinda in the same circumstance as well. you helped me realize that. good write!!! good luck in the contest.
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thanks for the comment. im glad you liked it.
i cant go back to that girl because she was all hurt and destruction on myself. if you want to put it poetically.
again im glad you liked it.
♥.Love
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this is really amazing bbydoll
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thanks, im glad you liked it darling
love.♥
p.s. thanks for the clappy mens!
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This is an awesome poem. And you dont think that you can put depth in your poetry. Gosh.
the smell of smoke has left her clothes
&& the alcohol no longer sticks
stale on her breath[no more mountain dew]
and what if the end really meant forever?
because here it goes again-
what if she goes back to that?
Nice stuff right there. -
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hey thanks babe. im glad you liked it. when did i saw i couldnt put depth into my poems? hmm...oh well. this is one of the first ive been able to write in quite a long time. so im really happy with the results of this. maybe thats what i was talking about.
thanks again darling.♥
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Wow, this is a really interesting concept, it's amazing =]
'her stomach feels intoxicated
as she begs for sleep to come;
but she can smell the sauce&spice;
the cologne he wasn't really wearing.
music plays[only]in her ears
from the hanging[twisting]white cords
&& the shiny aluminum card
(hidden beneath her love f.o.r.g.o.t.t.e.n sheets)
the words, the meaning behind
are her life in print&beats'
I love those lines^^^^ great poem hun =]=]=] ♥
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thanks baby. im really glad you liked it. interesting concept it what i keep hearing. i thought it was quite interesting when i wrote it myself
ily.♥
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I think this is really, really interesting. I never really thought about somebody being addicted to somebody that they used to be, thats just really interesting to me. Wonderful job doll Thanks for entering and good luck [:
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thanks, im really glad you liked it. i never thought of being addicted to a person, or to who someone used to be. but in writing this, i just got to thinking about it. then i saw your contest and was really really interested.
but in truth i am addicted to the person i used to be. but i am scared to go back to that. more than anything.
thanks again.
love.♥
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