Goodbye Sassy

I miss you so much it's killing me. My little love, my little cat. You even gave me kisses. I can look back and laugh now at all the silly little things that you used to do like run around in circles chasing your tail. More like a dog the way you used to play fetch, or the way you would walk around and cry for no reason, driving me crazy. If I gave you no attention, you'd climb all over me untill I stopped what I was doing and cuddled you. My fluffy little soft angel, my friend, my unwavering bundle. I remember the reason I called you Sassy. You were there with all your brothers and sisters, you stumbled over to me, you were looking for your mum. I picked you up and you nestled your head into the warmth of my neck, I fell in love with you instantly. Sassy because you squealed and squealed when I disturbed you from your comfort. I giggle to myself at the memory.

When I got you home you ran instantly to Molly looking for a surrogate mother, she hissed at you and you came running back, looking terrified. You won her over in the end though, the two of you becoming inseperable, partners in the many crimes you commited. You'd get up to all sorts, like the time the two of you were fighting over my panties and there were visitors in the house. That first night, I feared leaving you downstairs with Molly, frightened she'd reject you and kill you I took you to bed with me. Made a bed for you on the bedroom floor. I fell asleep and awoke to you, as tiny as you were struggling to climb the blankets, you wanted to cuddle again. I stayed awake for hours that night, making sure that I didn't roll over in my sleep and suffocate you whilst you slept peacefully by the side of me. Eventually I fell asleep, I woke with you sleeping on my head. You frightened me half to death! A week of nights spent like this, when waking up you'd be sleeping on my head, around my neck, on my stomach, anywhere but in your bed on the floor. Those are some happy memories. Some of the happiest in my life in fact and that is why i'm sobbng, pouring my heart out in tears and words, letting go.

When I left you were destroyed, rejecting me whenever I saw you again. It hurts me even more because you can't understand why I left, all you saw was betrayal. You're a cat, what did I expect. I hate that I couldn't bring you with me. I can't think of you without crying, hurting, the pain is so bad. I want you back my faithful little baby Sassy. You loved me unconditionaly and I let you down. I can't forgive myself, it's ripping me. I wonder where you are now, I hope and pray that you are loved. Please God keep her safe, and Molly too. Keep them together, part them and they will both die of a broken heart. Sassy I know your a cat and can't understand any of this but i'm deeply sorry, I love you baby, I miss you.  Goodbye Sassy my precious baby. All I have left of you is memories. I don't want them, take them away they are too painful.