Instant replay
That’s what your life has been.
Feel alone and empty within.
You enter the door,
and fall on the floor.
With little strength you try to lift,
your drunken body so on the bed you sit.
Only to fall flat again,
when will this instant replay end?
As I see you laying there.
I smell the cheat perfume in your hair.
Your thin body limp and numb.
From all the drinking that you have done.
You breathing long and swallow,
your skin pale like yellow.
Your mind dreams of that whiskey bottle.
As you savor every swallow.
As you eyes flicker in your sleep.
I can hear your dry lips speak.
Asking for another drink,
that’s all that your mind can ever think.
Your life repeats it self every day.
When will you ever change your ways?
It hurts to see you laying there,
without a worry or a care.
Your only friend is Jim Beam.
You and he have a lonely dream.
There will never be a new episode in your life.
Except the one when you finally died.
The reel will end
Author notes
Alcohol Abuse
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Powerful poem, well done!
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Wow
I know Jim. Kickin' ass and takin' names.
I know Jim. Most of the time he's the only one to talk with.
I know Jim. He'll saddle right up and ask me how I feel.
I know Jim. Happy or sad.
I do know Jim.
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wow, that is powerful, and so sad. I can't believe how creativly you wer able to write about this topic- no cliche with you- every line was an amazing twist, an kept us reading.
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Whew girl, this is deeeep!! I must say you penned a fabulous line with "cheat perfume" genius! Left an imprint...I'll remember that line! maybe I can borrow it sometime
ha! Awesome work ~Tia
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Thank you Tia, Yes any time you like. Infact I gave this write to two friends. And they stopped drinking. I put it On a wood frame because they were always just like this and there wife are dear friend so mine. It was breaking up there families there drinking. so If it helps some one good. Thanks again
(LISA)
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Wow, so deep and so much feeling. lol
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Thank you dear. so kind (LISA)
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CHEERS!!!
I had a bad drinking habit years ago.I was a happy good natured sort. Never a fight or arrest.[never drank and drove]I drank alone and was killing myself.This was a good write with a good message.The style is one of perspective.Of warning. I enjoyed it. -
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I have to congratulate you on your victory. That you realized you were doing only harm to your self. Life is to precious to throw away. You did the first step the only step that no one else could of done for you. Its like any thing we drink to much, we eat to much. We do everything in excess. We have a problem lets have a drink or two or three. Or we can eat out selves to death. Life need a balance just some times we can’t find it with out help. I wish ever one could see that message before its to late.Thank you for your grand review, take care and God bless (Lisa)
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A very different situation. I see it as someone who ends up alone written so simply and beautiful. Nice write a lovely write this is.
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Yes drink alot is sad dear. Thats why I named this Jim and I I met the whisky Jim beam. This is no about me nor my Husband. I was watching a man on televison drinking him self to death an the Ideal came to me. thank you for your review. (LISA)
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What a sad situation to be caught in...but I guess such is life, a series of unfortunte events that are way beyond our control. This aspect comes out clearly in the poem, between the alchohol use and your relationship with this person.
This poem expressed that very clearly and very well, nice write!
Thanks for your entry and good luck -
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Thank you for your review really appreciate your comments. Some times people have to deal with situation in life that one can't control. But poeple with problem are the one's that need to get the help. Not one can make them to change. Thank you again (Lisa)
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I think you tell a story of many people here, people who medicate themselves with booze. It is a tragedy. This is very well written. Your imagery is strong and consistant. I would just change the word sleek, which suggests a healthy body, to thin or bone thin, which suggests malnourished, which many drunks are.
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Thank you my dear that is better. And its true this story is so well known across the world. Thank you for the suggestion and great review. (Lisa)
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Woah
So sad yet true! -
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Yes my dear I have many of friend like that, just throw there life's away. Thank you for you comments (Lisa)
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Lonely drunks...
The sad part is, is that in that state of mind, he is incapable of appreciating you and your beauty. Seduced by the bottle, he is left without you love, what a bad trade.
Jim Beam and his kin-folks have disabled many a good man and woman!
Thank you for sharing this sad "reel" with us, I hope you are coping OK. And, as you said, the instant replays will be over some day.
Vaya con Dios, baby, go out and get some fresh air.
Love to you,
Brazos
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First sweetness This is no about me nor my Husband. I was watching a man on televison drinking him self to death an the Ideal came to me. My life is fine just some time I do feel sad because I spend a lot of time by my self. For My husband is in an other country. And its going to be more than a year. So I have my moods. Thank you for you concern really means alot and you to Vaya con Dios Mi Amigo. (Lisa)
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Well, I do think you got a pretty good picture of what drinking is. Congratulations on that.
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Thank you It was one of my woe is me days and I was watching a person on tv drink his self to death. Thank you again for your review (Lisa)
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