As the past slips through my fingers
I long for yesteryears
And wish that they could linger
Inside my heavy tears
The deep pain as I watch my bliss go by
Settles in my stone cold heart
My innocence has gone awry
As I stand on the rampart
My eyes dull with imperfection
Settled in my midst
I wish that I could take action
Against this deep abyss
So I cling to my fond memories
Of good days gone by
Of childhood pleasantries
Of days staring at the sky
Goodbye sweet yesterday
I wish that you loiter
But you can not I daresay
For you must go now and wander
I will keep you in my heart
As I face tomorrow with a steady gaze
Forever to be my sweetheart
Through my endless days
Author notes
For Contest: R o s e B l o s s o m 1 0 0 "Don't die live life"
Many people have been giving me advice on this subject so I would like to clear it up: I, when writing from a prompt, most of the time write through a character's eyes. I do not think as much that memories are sad, I think that they are something to learn and grow from. I just felt this message, felt by many people, was the one I should put across for this piece.
Thank you- RoseBlossom100
A contest entry
- Click on and Enter by Legend.
1000 points, ended June 6, 2007, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything take a look by x Bright Eyes x.
575 points, ended June 17, 2007, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You know you want to enter this contest by KnightOfTheRose.
380 points, ended August 13, 2007, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Past Present and Future~ Quote Prompt! by RunningFromReality.
700 points, ended March 5, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I've gone insane! Prewrites contest!! by AngelsKissesJenna.
550 points, ended April 24, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This piece was written very nicely - had a nice flow to it, especially within the rhyme scheme. I felt I could relate to the feelings presented here. Thanks for entering!
NekoFelix -
Excellent work! I really enjoyed this piece! I loved the way you started it "As the past slips through my fingers
I long for yesteryears
And wish that they could linger
Inside my heavy tears" so good! Great job! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!!
-Steve- -
Congratulations!!!
Congratulations to you on winning this beautiful award!!!
Wonderful entry!!!
Jasminerose
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Very good syntax! I like it a lot! Good luck!
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A well written entry into Legend's contest. Best of luck.
Jim
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very good write. the rhymes were very well thought up. good luck in the contest.
-Will -
Nice write.
Good luck. -
yes we cling to the memories gone past sometimes its all we have
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As the past slips through my fingers
I long for yesteryears
And wish that they could linger
Inside my heavy tears.
Time certainly does pass by so quickly. You capured the title perfectly, with a smooth flow. Good luck in the contest
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we're all imperfect dear,well yesterdays should always be remembered but watch out not to be trapped in them
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Forever to be my sweetheart
Through my endless days,
yes there are many such moments in life, well depicted. and good luck. -
very good
smooth flow and written in good form loved it thank you
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A little sad, but so beautifully penned. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Shaz xx
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This is a great poem. You also like poems with a rhyme and meter. Your meter is a little less concerning but every word captures your essence so beautifully. You write very well for such a young child. Great job keep it up!
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I love the way you speak of yesterday as a person to have a goodbye with!
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i really like your rhythm if flows so well....and your rhyming too better than mine
cuz i have limit word usage
anyways good luck with the contest!
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Sadly or in some case happily we can not hold yesterdays No matter how tight we clasp they slip though our fingers.It is such days gone that we can judge our days to come.No one can hold time and to try brings only pain> i like this It touches thoughts that i have had an gratefully lost Now i live for today and what is to come Thank you for entering this contest Good luck
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Sweet and sad
Beautiful words and a sad tale but if yiu see your past that way it is hoped your future will be better.
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Oh, so very sweet and so beautifully written from the heart! Such a lovely way to use the title given and your emotion just pour from your pen with ever word! Excellent!
You are very talented!
I wish you all the best in the contest
Linda
Ps.. we all dream of what could have been at one point, I think that is why we try so very hard to hold to all the memories for as long as we can at times
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You did a nice job phrasing "As the past slips through my fingers/I long for yesteryears/And wish that they could linger"...I think a lot of people feel that way.
In the fourth stanza, did you mean 'fond' or 'found'? Precious memories can indeed help us face our todays and tomorrows!
Good job on the a-b-a-b rhyming scheme!
Keep writing! Good luck!
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Ahhh
This is lovely and a wonderful entry for this contest. Best of luck. ~Pamela
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