Staring out into the lake with curiosity,
She wondered why the events that had happened to her had occurred.
Nothing could take her mind off of that week,
Nothing could move her transfixed eyes off of the water.
The liquid was blue and green,
Beautiful and shimmering in the sunlight.
But it was clouded and murky,
Untrustworthy and deceitful.
Sand was on the bottom,
But not all of it settled.
It swirled and sparkled,
It whispered softly to the little girl.
It told her stories of fish and mermaids,
Of seaweeds and other lake-dwellers.
Intrigued by the lying lips of the water,
She considered entering it.
Her conscience spoke into her ear,
Telling her not to go,
Or she would meet her brother's untimely fate.
She had risen and walked to the shore, it was too late to go back.
One foot forward, she went in,
Remembering the day she and the boy had swam
And laughed, full of life,
And how he died close to this spot that day.
She didn't know she was dying when she was,
She saw her brother in the water next to her,
Splashing and jumping,
Then she repeated his action.
Under the water she dipped her head,
And flailed madly to come up again,
But failed to do so.
By the time her parents ran out to her,
Her body was floating on the surface,
Face-down, motionless, breathless,
Lifeless.
Author notes
option #8.
"Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper" (for the contest)
A contest entry
- Pay it Forward! Picture Inspired by iamlost.
600 points, ended June 5, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Honorable Mentions Wanted, judged tonight by whispernthedark.
600 points, ended July 7, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POETRY OF HONORABLE MENTION ONLY by Three Doves.
300 points, ended September 5, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The One Man Circus by bloodletter68.
480 points, ended September 8, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come Check It Out Contest by tears.of.silence.
600 points, ended September 8, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This truly was quite sad and a little bit depressing, but that's good for the purpose of this option.
The flow was off in a few places, though. Also, I thought that the imagery was good, but it could have been a bit better, though I still enjoyed reading this piece. I would have to say that my favorite part was most likely stanza four. I especially liked this line: "Intrigued by the lying lips of the water." I thought that those few words were very cleverly written. Thanks for entering my contest!!
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tragedy expressed very well. Thank you for your entry into my contest and best wishes. -
sad,tragic yet transfixing
this is a good poem. although sad and tragic i never took my eyes off the screen. good job. look at some of my work and tell me what u think! -
thanks
whisper
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I'm guessing picture number one on this one, if so, it fits it in a very dark, beautiful way. I love the writing in this piece, the imagery and ideas are superb. Wonderful poem!
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