He can not be the same
He is not the gentleman I knew
Oh so tame
And polite at any cue
In our innocence we played
But then life settled in
And I wish it could have stayed
Innocence replaced by this awful din.
Pain and anger tore us away
life turned him sour
I long to see him day by day
And sometimes hour by hour
He chose to learn by trial and error
He chose to take his turn
I live in a never ending terror
Will he ever learn?
His life goes slipping by
As he defiles his mind
And it makes me want to cry
He will hate himself when he looks behind
He does not know what he has done
The pain he has caused
The devil has won
He did not even pause
I pray earnestly on
But can God help when He is not wanted?
Is it one big con?
He ruins his life and leaves me feeling haunted.
Why does he do this to himself
Is it to hide the pain?
Like a toy on an empty shelf
Does he feel abandoned or is it just for gain?
He does not know how my heart aches
Willing him to mend his ways
He will never know how his life makes me quake
Or the prayers I use on him these days
I wish he would turn around
Give life one last shot
Stop staring at the ground
Before he gets caught
The devil tells only lies
He ruins lives and laughs
Severing old ties
This is the life he casts
Do not listen to his voice
Seek out God
He will give you a choice
Hold to the rod
Author notes
For Contest: R o s e B l o s s o m 1 0 0 "Don't die live life"
Option6.I wrote this about a guy I grew up with, he and I have grown more and more distant over the years as he has turned to drugs and gone into his rebelious years.
A contest entry
- Options! Prewrites allowed! by reckless abandon.
390 points, ended July 14, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I've gone insane! Prewrites contest!! by AngelsKissesJenna.
550 points, ended April 24, 155 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I am so glad you pray for this person so much...it takse a great friendship and much faith, and you have it!
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Excellent abab rhyming! Stanza 8 last line, I think you meant "Does". You paint a picture of a once enjoyable friend who has taken a frightening downward spiral in his life.
Stanza 9, you might consider rewording "prayers I use on him" to better indicate the care and concern you feel (prayer is not a club we use on each other!) Perhaps, "my pleas for him each time I pray" or something along that line?
Just a reminder that if you ask someone what the word "rod" means to them, they may only think of "spare the rod and spoil the child", or Moses' rod, or the rod of correction or anger, or "Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me". Not as many are familiar with the rod of "the word of God" of Nephi's vision.
I think this poem could be made even stronger by consistent meter. If you get an opportunity to learn more about meter, it is a great tool for the writer!
Next to last stanza, I especially appreciated your description.
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This is well written about what happened to your friend. Thanks for entering the contest!
-KP] -
This is about a friend of mine that I grew up with and he has gone away from the church, we think he is doing drugs, and so it is very depressing
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