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You leaving, and I have nothing to say.

You held me so close,
crumping my fears into nothingness.
You wiped the tears away,
even when it was something my fault.
You pulled me in and told me the truth,
and gave me the words I held on too.

You told me it was fine,
cause I was inexpirenced.
It wasn't going to hurt,
even though tears came to my face.
But I never expected you to say it was ok,
even with the eyes you used before.

It wasn't so bad,
but you lied to me.
You told me words to make me do it,
staining my body with filth.
I never could sleep again without your look in my mind,
it was my one tear I hated.

I know it wasn't what you wanted,
cause you never looked me in the face.
Even though you said it was your fault,
I still was stained.
I needed you to stay,
to show my misery.

I'm conflicting in my mind,
nothing is right.
I know you hate this stuff I do now,
but I can't let it go.
I don't want you to go,
but I hate to see your face anymore.

Please understand my lies,
my truths and hurts,
I hate this to be the last,
but you made you desision.
I know this is confusing,
but you got to listen close:

I love you.

I hate you.

That is all there is too it.

Author notes

This is from a personal point of view. I know it isn't exactly what the story is (raped boyfriend), but it is very similar. And you have no idea how something like this get burned into your mind.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    October 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the way you went about this write. The language was great and the emotions flowed well, I could put myself in the persona of the speaker in the piece. I know how it feels, as when I had sex with karl the first time it was great but I thought, 'should I have done?' and I couldn't help myself, I showered that night and I spent longer than I usually would. I wanted it off, in a way. Loved the story.


  • ea silver member
    August 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry I won't be considering this poem because you neglected to add a comment in your author's box about what you were going to do to reduce your carbon footprint which was the point of this Trade your GOLD in for GREEN contest. Hope you take the time to read the link anyway.


  • Abby In Chains. silver member
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    from contest holder

    well that one person (architect) was quite cold, no? and i think it was unneccesary. there IS emotion here, in fact the emotion is more than i have read from most of my other entrants, and that is why i think i may consider you for a top spot. dont let architect get to you, it obviously wasnt as bad as they said because you won a gold AND a silver trophy for it. so poo on them. ^^

    i think it is very well written. good luck.


    Abby


  • hilly
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I'm just going to point out a few specific grammatical or punctuation errors first.

    L2 - I think you meant 'crumpling' (with an L)
    L6 - "too" should only have one 'O'
    L8 - You misspelled 'inexperienced'
    L34 - The second "you" should be 'your'

    As for the poem, I think there is SO much emotion behind this. Unfortunately, I don't think it really comes through in the poem.

    I hope you understand, I'm going to remove this from the contest. It's just not what I'm looking for. But good luck in the other contests and with your future writing.


  • Logans-Mommy
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oooh, i like.


  • LucyLightning
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awwww. This is a very great emotional write.
    Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest

    I needed you to stay,
    to show my misery.

    ^^favorite part.
    I understand wholly.


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Powerfully written
    Well done, poet friend; I wish you the very best in this contest


  • FollowingFate
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    omg! I have SO been there...not being raped or anything, but I've been stuck in a moment where I've hated my boyfriend and loved him at the same time...I don't remember what for anymore but it was really confusing for myself to understand it was hard to interpret and hard to deal with. I'm glad that you've written a poem that expressed when both love and hate collide, the background is also very fitting. Great job.

    ~Jessica


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    June 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh this was sad and had strong imagery and emotion in it,
    i could relate to it very strongly and the story was deff told here.
    an amazing and heartfelt write
    well done and good luck


  • silencethequestion
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh i know...i know. i really really could relate to every single word you wrote in this. I love it. and i think it goes along with the story just fine. good write. thanks for entering

1 - 11 of 11