The scenery whips by
Entrancing me to sleep.
I awake with an uneasy feeling
A gnawing in my bones.
The rattling of my carriage
Is making me feel sick,
And I am strangely empty
There is something I forgot...
Oh, son of a bitch! - I left my heart at the train station!
Author notes
What a silly little poem I have spawned.
A contest entry
- Prompt!! by Naridill.
300 points, ended June 2, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, honest though::
Comments
-
OH YOU BRILLANT BEING, nearly exact thoughts in my mind. I loved it. Not silly at all but exactly what the quote means without the sugar coating.
Loved it.
Much luck.
-
Actually, I don't think it's silly. Although it's delivery seems light, the imagery contrasts that prior to final line and gives a deeper glimpse into the import of how we feel when heartbroken. Or something like that!
Adding your comment:
