flames rumba
to a tribal rhythm
arms stretch in alternate poses,
an attempt to shadow air.
slaps of feet
call the earth -
black on gold,
sunset streams through
grains piled up like dunes
ready to be shared
crickets hop
higher still
to catch the moon -
spotlight on reverse
asymmetrical edges of foliage
loosen their hair
sway to the nightingale's symphony
whose eyes reflect the pole star
statue of buddha
awakens before dawn
enlightenment -
saplings unfurl
to drink dew
feathers flap away
morning mists
from the cave
panther's talons strike stone -
scintillations,
photons ignite
to name the sundial
solid outlines eclipse
"click!"
(multiplicity)
photographer's delight
develop fascinations
A contest entry
- Silhouettes by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended June 17, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Golden Gallant - Pre-writes for Gold Brilliance by Namita.
300 points, ended August 4, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive Criticism Appreciated! :)
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Absolutely loved your imagery and diction.
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thank you so much! i really appreciate your read!
bless ya!
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Amazing piece. Very-well deserving of gold. Pleasure to have this write here. Congrats on the goldie.
Luv,
Candy
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ola! merci beaucoup for the silver! i much appreciate it!!
thankies, i'm glad you enjoyed it.
bless ya!
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thank you!
good to know you liked it!
bless ya!
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A well deserved gold too I must say
I've found silhouettes amongst my own photography to be extremely enjoyable and always worth the challenge (lens adjustments and whatnot) to obtain.
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KozMic!!! i'm quite surprised to see you!! lol.. thank you so much for dropping by to read this. i much appreciate your views. and yeah, i sure bet you'd love it. 
exposure? 
have you tried getting your prints published anywhere? if not, try it!
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The only critique I could find is that it's a little vauge as to what the subject actually is. But the language itself is quite stunning and effective, especially for such short lines. I love the way you said that the grasshoppers try "to catch the moon" and you had wonderul vocabulary usage, the poem is brimming with interesting words. You really did give me a mental image.
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Thank you. I'm sorry you weren't able to get the subject. well, the prompt was silhouettes. but i do believe the title gives you the basic idea?
Anyway, thanks a lot for your views on this. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the images I had to offer. Thank you.
bless ya!
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This poem is fantastic! I am so happy that someone entered something so wonderful in this contest. Your images made me jealous!
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THANKS LOADS for the gold!!
you just made my day, lol!
I'm pleased to know you really enjoyed this piece. It's my honour. Thank you for the wonderful prompt. I'm glad I entered.
bless ya!!
PS> After all, you taught me the skeletal skill.
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