Late at night when she left
She's gone now, yet I'm still here
If she is unable, to find her way home
My funeral may fall, on a cold, miserable day
The soliloquy demons, which caused insomnia
No longer hold the key
And when you bury me
You bury me unbroken
Now, within this mystical reality
I was able to learn from the saints
And when madly in love with her
A translucent utopia was found
I know I was never good enough
But her heart still stayed
Our love is unbroken
The essence of time is a marvelous thing
And she definitely needed hers
Yet time is independent and unreliable
The Pisces swims in the raging current
To which is my soul
But I won't let go, I won't let go
My dreams are still unbroken
The music that made us tingle
The kiss that kept us shivering
And the glorious art of making love
Because we shared sunsets and purple skies
Champagne above the ravine
Tears, fears, love and devotion
Our dreams shall never be apart
And when you bury me
You bury me unbroken
Author notes
Option 2
(notice the word bank!!)
A contest entry
- ◄Show Me What You Got!!► by Hebz.
425 points, ended June 8, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wonderful words just flow from your fingers to the paper, or in this case screen. I truly enjoy your poems. I haven't come across a talented poet like yourself in a while.
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Love it
Holding on to [unbroken] love beautifully depicted in this poem!
This part, to me, is the best:
"And when madly in love with her
A translucent utopia was found
I know I was never good enough
But her heart still stayed
Our love is unbroken"
One is lucky to find a love like this!
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Thank you Miss
I had forgotten of this poem
Your comments are refreshing, incouraging and...
Well...just beautiful
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lovely
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oh this si splendid, love the whole thing..and you are lucky to find such love...best of luck
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Hahaha...I wish
But thankyou Miss...your wonderful comments mean the world to me
I'm so glad you enjoyed Beautiful!!
Thanks for reading
Much Love!
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WOW!
This is so fantastic!!!
The love you feel in this poen is incredible.
Such a love is rare .
I love that you used the word ( Unbroken )
Very few can you that and mean it...
Great write
~Lisa~
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Your Welcome!
Sorry for the typo? I am the typo queen here ..love my spell check lol
It is a beautiful poem!
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Thankyou sooooooo much Miss!!!!
Much Love!
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This is so wonderful and loving. "Bury me unbroken."
I am so much in love with that phrase!
Thanks for sharing!
Love,
Azlyn
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Excellent, Incredible Write
Love this poem alot, very sweet and powerful..
Though it wasn't a word bank--it was just a title options, but I really love what you did..Trully you gathered words in an incredible way..& also for this line..
"And the glorious art of making love"
Can't say but you deserve more than 3 applaud, but i don't do that when commenting on contest entries, but I'll do sth else...
Best of luck in the contest...
Much love
GloriousGift -
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I knew it wasn't a word bank...just thought it would be cool and I just wanted you to notice
Thanks for reading and the beautiful comment
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is an incredible write. You did a fine job with the word bank here. Taken words that had no meaning alone and combined them to give them life of their own.
Love wanted, dreams desired, space given and all that is sought found. Leaving one now whole..nicely done.
Fine write my friend. Best of luck to you in the contest. Think this screams metal...
Dawn
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I have seen this contest...and
HOLY CRAP this is brilliant. It is different for you, absolutely wonderful! It's got a dark aire to it... It seems to exhibit insecurities, and recollections, but also there is fear, or knowing...but a refusal to quit or to give up...so much said, so much expressed, and so wonderfully written. I truly love every line, and it as a whole.
You deserve to win!
Bravo love!
♥
oh, and 'raging' I think you may have meant, and the third to the last line, 'our dreams shall never apart'?
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I'm waiting for your entry too..I love your style
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