When I take a knife
I cut my wrist open
Would you shed just one tear?
When I take the bottle of pills
I take them all
Would you even bother to call?
When I starve myself
Not eating one bite
Would you ever force me to eat?
When I take that bottle
Drink it all, Not one last drink to be sipt
Would you be their? And show a little care?
When I take the gun
I pull the trigger
Would you even budge an inch?
When they take my casket
Lower me in the ground
Would you even miss me just a litte bit?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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woah.
i love this...like below this is very honest and clear.
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wow. honest. full of emotion or frustration or... i can't find the proper word for it. I don't even know you, but I'd care!
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::Hugs::
First of all, the poem shows definite raw emotion. The flow is wonderful and the vocabulary is great. I did find one small problem though. Just a small typo.
When I take that bottle
Drink it all, Not one last drink to be sipt
Would you be their? And show a little care?
It's sipped , dear.
Other than that, this is a wonderful piece. It's tragic how many people think that, that one person doesn't care or won't ever miss them. You, my dear, will most likely be missed. I'm sure you have a family who loves you, friends here and in life that love you to no end. And this is just going by what I know in general. But, of course, I do not know you and go around judging what your life is like. Nor am I trying to. Keep up the great work and I'll be sure to try and remember to read some of your other works. =^.^=
Lullaby
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I would miss you! But that is just me! I really liked this darkness that you have shared, and if this is a true poem, then know that there is someone out there who cares!
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wow i love this poem i feel exactly the same whay about this on eperson.... AWSOME write full of emotion!!!!
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