Music
movement
fingertips to fingertips
hip to hip in the candle-imbued shadows
smooth glass eyes gaze steadily into mine
as we glide to the music's elaborate turns
bodies unfurling, entwining, twisting
round and round each other
fingertips to fingertips
movement
music
Heat
breathing
chest to chest
your arms encircle me as candles die in wax
pulling me closer to the rythm of your heartbeat
and the heavy pulse pounding and rushing in your veins
as your lips hover before mine, so sweet and soft
in the moon glow as lips meet and part
chest to chest
breathing
heat
Dance
seeking
pelvis to pelvis
again and again we sway
together and away again, secret sweet in the dark
our bodies moving in time to the music's elaborate turns
bodies unfurling, entwining, twisting as one
melting slow like sugar into each other
pelvis to pelvis
seeking
dance
Author notes
A dance in the moonlight.
A contest entry
- Express your feelings by Razor-Blade Romance.
313 points, ended June 1, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Before The Music Stopped by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended June 18, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Wonderful
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A really well-crafted form poem in which the repeated refrains really add to the overall romantic and sensuous mood expressed. This was a real pleasure to read. Thanks for entering my contest, and best of luck.
David
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This was good..I really liked the format of that you picked in this piece. I wish you the best of luck in the contest
Kari -
The pattern this form makes of words is like a dance in itself. It's very artistic and compliments the action and sensuality expressed. Very well-done!
Blue -
well done
It's such a peacefull but still grasping read. Way to go -
Not only is the poem itself beautiful, the form is also very pleasing to the eye. I love the repetition of certain words and how some are repeated top to bottom. You definitely made the passion come alive as a dance. Very beautifully written.
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Absolutely beautiful and romantic; sensual
I love this so much!
Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest!! -
ah form poetry i love and i do love to see them in chains like here too.
very romantic, i like too how you repeat the first three lines at the top and at the bottom of each verse, it works well
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This is so awesome I love the work you do with such love and desire.
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Great poem It had lots of flow you danced with this one.NICE!!!10 s
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this is well executed and well written. The form of this poem is absilutely divine, it was visually applealing in its form, as well as a great pleasure to read. This one is amazing, I like it!
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A very well executed flow and form!
I am very impressed by this piece.
This piece is sensual without being over-bearing. A soft sensuality witha fluid like flow. I love it!
I wish you the best in the contest
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Amazing...
Lines I Love:
'Music
movement
fingertips to fingertips
hip to hip in the candle-imbued shadows
as we glide to the music's elaborate turns'
This piece is amazing.
The Imagery is sensual, capturing, and sweetly loving.
I like your style alot in this piece.
You have incredible talent.
Best wishes and Regards,
James
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dang that is some good stuff.. i like the imagery and the words just flowed together..
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Powerful and emotion. Very strong. I like this piece.
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Such a gentle poem of love and so sweetly spoken. Best of luck!!!
Love,
Azlyn
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