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I dreamt I could not sleep

The noise was unbearable,
No pain was comparable,
and I dreamt that I could not sleep.

You captivated my mind,
My cognitive love was reassigned,
and my thoughts raced around me.

A controlling factor exposed,
My mind is unclosed,
and the possibilities are the authority.

An unfaithful responsibility,
With limited availability,
and I am drawn into the abysmal silence.

The hurt was uncontrolled,
And still my blood runs cold,
and I only hope for dreams of existentialism.

But I dreamt I could not sleep.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Oleander
    September 5, 2007
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    Nice poem. It flows well.


  • whiterabbit.
    August 13, 2007

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    Wow, this is wonderful. It's so original too. I love the title. This is really interesting and enjoyable to read. Great write.


  • ObituaryBirthday
    August 7, 2007

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    i also loved this..coz its different..esp. the line "and I am drawn into the abysmal silence"
    great write..


  • Scion
    June 15, 2007
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    you know, some poems have such forced rhyme and choppy rhythm. but this... this is flawless. I love the word choice and the conjuration of emotion. the title caught my eye and i thought of nightmares and dreamscapes, but this is so much more.

    "and I only hope for dreams of existentialism"
    -the best line I have seen in forever... beautiful! Cheers


  • RacinThePen
    June 1, 2007

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    The word choice in this is astounding and the description is captivating. I was drawn in by every line, every word, every syllable. The concept is original and yes I can relate. I too have dreamt I could not sleep, and it's a horrible feelings, not to mention everything that runs through your mind. Great write here...keep at it


  • Silverblade
    June 1, 2007

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    "and I am drawn into the abysmal silence."

    I love the wording and almost ethereal imagery the overall piece conjures (well, for me). That line in particular stands out-- Partially, I'll confess, because I love the word "abyss" and abysmal is the next best thing. It conjures utter and absolute loneliness, a sense of absolute and final silence.


  • Kleyda14
    June 1, 2007
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    Interesting poem, I liked it it was different. Good work!


  • BaWiTaBa
    June 1, 2007

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    Wow. I love this poem. I think the words are so pretty & I can feel the sense you're trying to play when one reads this poem. Also, I really lov ethe ryhme sceme. Very well done

1 - 8 of 8