I see you there, suspended in the life you once lived
To the fullest. Spinning around in a Whirlwind of Sorrow
Staring, for hours, into the eyes of your own reflection
Searching for a passage through time to brighter yesterdays
Where the sun once shone into the deepest corners of your heart
And the bitter tears of icy regret sting as they crash down
Drowning in the pain of your loneliness as you glide through
Emptiness.
I see you there, floating among swirling shadows in the tomb of grief
Mourning the end of your happiness, cold and alone,
Forever
Author notes
I'll admit...this is actually about my goldfish, Luigi...he's been mourning for the passed week over th loss of his companion, Luca. He's has been staring into his reflection and then spinning round and round before going back to staring. It's quite depressing to watch him. I'm worried I'll be losing him soon too, I don't know how much more of his loneliness he can take, poor thing. Anyways, I might add some more to this as I had to write it quickly while the moment was there. thanks for reading, Sam (Dreams27) xxx
R.I.P Luca!!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I liked this poem a lot. I could feel sorrow and loneliness while reading it.
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thanks for taking time to read and comment! much appreciated! take care, Sam (Dreams27) xxxx
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For a poem about a golfish it's so moving. It truly is an amazing poem. Very original and the emotions are expressed brilliantly.
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thank you for the comments! i appreciate you taking time to read and comment! I'm glad you enjoyed my work. i will be reading more of your poetry when i get some more time. thanks again, take care, Sam (Dreams27) xxxx
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very good write
i liked it alot.. keep the good work up
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That's right.
You captured the feeling perfectly. When one of our two dogs died, the other one wandered around lost without her. He would even lay his head on her bed. Humans aren't the only ones who experience mourning. That last word 'forever' made it real.
Patty
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thanks for reading and leaving your comment!! i appreciate it! take care, Dreams27) xx
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Ver beautifully written. The sorrow is well defined and quite universal in how you described it. Good job!
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Wow you are great
It was like a drama unfolding before my eyes. That of loneliness, sadness, and angish. Than I read the notes And I was amazed. You did a wonderful job. Even a gold fish can be sad buy him a friend or more. For he is part of your family. (Lisa)
"Where the sun once shone into the deepest corners of your heart
And the bitter tears of icy regret sting as they crash down
Drowning in the pain of your loneliness as you glide through
Emptiness."
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Thank you for your comment on my poem. Funny to come and read yours and realize that this is also how I feel...and it gave me a good laugh to read that it is about your goldfish
Great metaphor I enjoyed this, felt like you were talking to me...lol
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