Silence,
It's so...
Empty and yet...
Full of thoughts.
Silence.
A contest entry
- Quickie Quickie! by shuvi.
300 points, ended May 31, 2007, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Be ready for real CRITICISM........ by algoressister.
500 points, ended November 11, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2007 - everything under 25 lines by leander.
1000 points, ended January 17, 2008, 167 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Mania by Celticmoon.
450 points, ended March 30, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ? Enter ? by Liar. Liar--x.
300 points, ended May 31, 2008, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST short prewrites! by perfectsunset.
550 points, ended April 13, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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So true... this was cleverly
crafted and such a
wonderfully penned piece,
Thanks for entering & best of luck
-
Commentary
Short and quick to the point....
Keep penning -
Another little snippet you have entered into this contest, that has actually quite some meaning with it. Thought-provoking is something that would definately fit to say about this poem
Thanks for this entry as well!
Leander -
Wonderful
The simplicity of this is outstanding. Not one word wasted which is difficult in any write. Leaves pause for thought thats for sure. Good luck in the contest! -
Hi,
Well, I definitely can see the subject here....and I like the thought....I also am a big fan of brevity......Which you have truly accomplished here....
Silence,
It's so...
Empty and yet...
Full of thoughts.
Silence.
The only suggestion I would make (remembering that I love expressive words), is to punch up your words......The idea is stated so quietly... if you contrasted the fullness of the thoughts to the silence by using a more active word.....
Silence,
It's so...
Empty......
And is yet...
A din of thought.
Silence.
All I did was place the cursor on the word cacophony(which was too big to fit well) then click on thesaurus, and it gave me several choices.....Otherwise I really think this peice stands on it’s own....thanks for braving the gauntlet.....TTFN Love Laurel -
As I stated to someone who entered a haiku: shorter entries have to be almost perfect in every way, or absolute perfection. They have to express the depths in which longer poems can express. Very few, I feel, can
accomplish such a feat.
Your poem evokes two images for me: An abyss, and within that abyss: emptiness. That's it. That's all I got from your poem. Doesn't mean that it's bad, just doesn't express too much of anything besides that.
A nice poem that you have written here.
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A total of 10 words that say so much! Good luck in the contest.
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A little short but nicely worded. The length lacks alot of depth that would add alot but at the moment, it is a memorable piece.
Much luck
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Short and sweet. Thank you for entering. ~ Aurora
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Short, yet it says so much. Thank you for this thought-provoking entry.
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very very well said.
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yes....ur so right...amazing poem that tells everything in 4 lines!
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Aww wow this is awesome, I don't usually like the shorter type of poems because most of them seem pointless (like haiku's), but this is such a good one and it is so true. Well done on the gold, keep up the good work and take care! xxx
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Sometimes silence can be so loud it is deafening.Words that remain unspoken float freely in the absense of sound...excellent...mal
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i agree there is something about silence that makes it neither good or bad, keep it flowing and congrads on the contest
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Depends on who's mind
it is
Mal -
STUNNING!
WOW WOW WOW! i havent read ANYTHING like this before.. COOL write!! thanks for entering, keep the pen rolling, all the best in the contest, lots and lots of love and cheers, shuvi
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