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Life hits you raw,
smack in the face like a cold, wet cloth
seeping into your skin
with a curling you only thought existed with a hot iron.
It tangles and mangles the flesh
and beseeches nothing less than a pint of blood
each time the puncture hits.
I swear I could lose myself in the rat race.
When the car horns scream in the early morning and
you know you've left sanity behind at the day care program,
even though all of those kids at once
would send you over the edge,
nothing that comes next even compares to where you came from.
The goodbye hug in the morning has passed into
into a tickler file of things to remember to talk about,
filtering into the in basket of "corporate"
until some cream-colored metallic Lexus
cuts you off and you miss the turn where you always stop
for your first cup in the morning.
To enter without it would prompt
too many questions for the sake of 'donut gossip'
- you aren't ready for conversation.
Late is better than without as the turn comes automatic.
It is then, after automated monotony, that it hits. Life.
The worries of late with coffee, or on time without -
trivial in the scheme of what matters since the diagnosis.
Do you tell them? Perhaps not yet. Bottom of the in basket...
Hell, you're not ready to tell yourself yet,
though when you touch your fingers to that telling place
above your ribcage,
---the lump is there.
Schedules will change with the unreality of it all
and maybe they can get it all - and maybe they can't -
and maybe they can get it all....
Fear rises the realization as throat thickens.
"Large light, no sugar." - automatic.
Keep it normal. Keep it routine. Don't change anything
and maybe the familiarity will make the changes
seem easier. Acceptance is hard coming.
And what do you tell her? She with the dimpled smile
who you work so hard for? Who's first thought of the day is
"Mommy"
who's last thought of the day is "Mommy".
What do you tell her?
Life hits you hard
smack in the face with a rawness
that barters nothing.
Copyright © 2007
Pamela A. Lamppa
(All Rights Reserved)
Author notes
Poetry that is written to be read aloud.
In a list
A contest entry
- Breast Cancer Awareness (contest) by astralshepherd.
800 points, ended October 23, 2007, 28 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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I couldn't even begin to imagine this kind of pain.The anxiety that would come with it I could, but the pain of telling the loved ones, now that would be hard.I read this poem and then listened to it.Between me reading it and it being read to me Ive gained some insight into this devistating cancer.I think this is Brilliant Pam, Im really proud of your work here.
Thank you for sharing your heart and soul.May you be blessed in all you ever do.
Tony
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Thank you so much. This is, I am glad to say, not a true story for me, and I can only imagine how it would be.
So pleased for your input here. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Good stuff!
... a rawness that barters nothing ....
Now there's a little miracle of understanding for ya.
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Thomas Scott
Thank you. Wow, you are delving into the archives. I wrote this after going to a live reading done by two wonderful female poets. I will send you the links to their sites later so you can have a listen.
It inspired me to try my hand at verse written specifically to be read aloud. This was one of those pieces.
I am pleased you found this one. Thank you. ~Pamela
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That this was so highly placed is no surprise to me A wonderful piece when i first read it it has grown in statue with each read Congratulations
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Legend
My friend, words as these coming from you truly move me. Thank you so much.
~Pamela 
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Pam, I remembered this one right away when I just saw you had got silver and still it scared me. The gold must have been totally over the top if you received silver for this. Congratulations and I hope all is well with you. Love you my friend, Joyce
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Joyce
Thank you so much for your kind words and congratulations. ~Pamela
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this is incredible... reads well
both aloud and silently... it brought tears to my eyes... raw and real and beautiful and intense and crushing with the reality of it all, but the thoughts come together so well, so poignantly... love the beginning and the end and everything in between...
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ellipsist
Thank you so much for taking a moment to read and leave your impressions on this piece. It is such a tough topic and there is so much to be said. I am so pleased for your comments here. Thank you. ~Pamela
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I had just started reading my poems aloud last year, a dynamic that I truly feared yet became so enamored of - - the sound of words forming mid-air, resounding within a meeting room - - the reactions of the listeners, all of it, provided a feedback as to content and meaning which I had been missing. I read all poems aloud now. First I read silently, twice, then begin the attempt, listening for hidden inflection, taking note of stresses based on ending, rhyme and punctuations – always with each reading enjoying the roundness and crispness of vowel dancing with consonant. So when I read this, I was really a very happy reader. And it is so true, with cancer, “Life hits you raw” and the ensuing “smack” – the harshness of the word, emphasized here for impact. The line “The worries of late with coffee, or on time without -trivial in the scheme of what matters” is brilliantly effective, echoing the need for some sense of normalcy. But what gripped me most was “And what do you tell her? She with the dimpled smile who you work so hard for? Who's first thought of the day is "Mommy"
The emphasis on “her” then moves gently to “she with…” the punctuated pause held in “mommy” perhaps raised slightly upward at the ending of mommy, more a question than a statement, mommy?
You have a wonderful vision here, the rawness and reality of life facing this illness, facing family, friends, the world with a hard truth. Pamela, I know you meant this poem to be one offered with the perspective of one who has been there, while you, yourself have not experienced this. It is a marvelous stretch of imagination yet more. It is more because, “you” are still here, so present, in the words. Your concerns, your concepts, the way you see life and its intricacies - - the daily turn of a world about an axis of exploration, your words mean a great deal more than you know, or perhaps you really do know and your heart was merely playing catch-up with your soul. Thank you again for entering the contest, I appreciate your hard work.
Blessings and best wishes,
~r.
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~r
Thank you so much for your most wonderful comments and the honor of silver in this contest. I appreciate it so much. ~Pamela
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you are more than welcome, the honor is mine, i assure you.
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Pam as you know the circumstances in my life you will know how i feel reading such works on this subject.
I think you have placed on this page many of the thoughts that fly through ones mine when that horrid little word is first spoken out loud.
Although with my dear wife we talked about it a lot I still never knew just how she felt about it.
What i do know is that i would much rather be the one suffering with it that one who stands helpless on the sidelines.
Who knows the right way to approach it. Each have their own way.
Yet all of those i met seemed somehow to,(once it had sunk in) become more at peace with the disease that one would have thought possible.
I ramble a fantastic write that should not be a surprise to me.Excellent
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Legend
My dear friend, thank you for these words. I can only imagine what many have to live through. My thoughts feel your sorrow and I thank you for leaving your comments on this piece. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Pamela, thank you so much for entering your poem, “Life Hits You.” into my contest, it is an honor to have this poem posted here. Your unique perspective is a welcome addition. This is a boilerplate note that I place on all poems entered to let you know I have reviewed your poem and have made my initial observations. Please, feel free to add to or modify your poem as I will make my final assessments at the close of contest. I will judge the contest approximately seven to ten days after that and will make any additional comments at that time. Thank you, again, I truly do appreciate your effort, your understanding, and wish you best of luck in the contest.
Blessings and best wishes,
~r.
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~r
Thank you for reading and leaving your impressions. At the time I wrote this piece, I was practicing with verse that is specifically designed to be read at a reading. Hence, a bit more narrative than most. I am honored to be part of this contest. Thank you. ~Pamela
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Phew!
Glad it is not true. Still, there is alot of you in this one.
Jim
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Jim
Thank you so much. I am experimenting. So pleased this held you. It is meant to hold and shock. ~Pam
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Oh my GOD Pam! This is AMAZING!
Trying to keep sanity in the face of such awful circumstances by routine of everyday...you can FEEL each thought that enters her mind!
I envy this piece so much!!! Wow! I was unknowingly holding my breath until I reached the end of this, then exhaled a shaky sigh with the truth of the ending.
Life DOES hit hard at times and leaves one feeling as if smacked right in the face.
A truly brillant piece my friend. You are amazing! (((HUG)))
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~lk~
Been trying my hand at a little different style of poetry. I am so pleased this hit hard. It is meant to. Thank you so much. (I am pleased to report that this is not a true story) ~Pamela
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Boy that one hits home in a hard way. I can see it busy lives require routine ansd what makes it difficult is when something happens to disrupt your life. Very good poem you bet!
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jeff swan
Thank you so much for reading and leaving your kind comments. I appreciate them so much. ~Pamela
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Pam,
OMG!!!!!!! A ton of bricks is what I just got hit with for sure. I was so relieved when I read your reply to ea and it said this was fiction. We do know it is life, though I breathed a great big sigh of relief to know it wasn't your life. I have had my scare with it and my sister finished treatments a little over a month ago after a lumpectomy. I never expected this to go where it went. You more than blew me away on this one. It was like a hurricane hit. This is such a brilliant piece of free verse you have penned here to share with all of us. Another of your masterpieces that you paint with such ease. Nothing was out of place and there is no room for improvement in this. Absolutely brilliant I stand and bow to applaud you as I make my exit. Thank you once again, it just keeps getting better when I read your words. Love you my friend, Joyce
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Joyce
I thank you so much my friend. Your words mean a great deal to me. Thank you. ~Pamela
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I hope this is a fiction or written from a survivor's look back but it's very well done and hit me like a ton of bricks.
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ea
Written for effect and not a true story. I have been trying my hand at a different style of writing. I am pleased this hit you like a ton of bricks. It is meant to hit hard. THANK YOU so much. ~Pamela
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ah it is all insanity at times wrapped in cotton wool and hidden barbed wire - we think it is going smoothly, softly, then bang an emotional wreckage hits the shadows of the day while screams flutter in the heart. a good poem
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individuality
Ahh. It is so true. How vulnearable and fragile we truly are. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece. It is long for me, but I am experimenting. I appreciate your kind words so much. ~Pamela
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REALLY GOOD...THATS HOTT
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