early spring morning
as the old chant at sunrise -
a noisy crane starts
Author notes
I noticed this today morning. Between the melodious and light chanting sound of OM could be heard this horrible crane that annoyed almost everyone living in my vicinity.
In a list
A contest entry
- Lets do a Haiku by Swan song.
420 points, ended June 10, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - MORE HAIKU ANYONE? by Swan song.
800 points, ended September 8, 2007, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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early spring morning
as the old chant at sunrise -
a noisy crane starts
Thank you for entering my ku contest. I love to hear the sounds of the morning at sunriase, but I do understand how the crane could interupt that serenity. -
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Yes indeed...thanks for your comments on this haiku.
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I like to watch cranes as they take a crash landing,lol this is well written,good luck in our contest..MM
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This is a wonderfully imagined Haiku; and it does create quite a lively picture in the mind of the reader! Vivid, vivacious and bright!! All the best for the contest!!
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Thank you, Bliss
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I love the sounds running through this haiku. Though I know all-too-well the sounds of that construction equipment too-early in the morning, I liked reading this as a noisy-type crane-bird as well--An extra-dash of nature in reading it that way too!
Best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo -
This is a poignant haiku with great images and a clear transition between line two and three. Really enjoyed it!
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Thank you, poet
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ecellent
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Thank you, Swan
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I love the moments you capture by your haiku, Char...Unexpected as your crane, it might be that mockingbird and those baby robins' cheeps that I forget drifting off to sleep.
We live in different parts of the world, but by your haiku you feel to bring us and maybe the world closer together for that moment, and--(I think) that's GREAT HAIKU!
Jo
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Dear Jo,
Your feedback on this 'ku kick started my day in a very happy spirit!! Thank you!!
I also believe that through haiku we must get the world closer...for that one brief moment we share the same land, breathe the same air, hear the same sounds and feel the same touch..and that is soo special, isn't it?
Big hugs,
Charishma
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Lovely haiku!!
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Thank you, Luna!
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Wow
It talks about the existence of two extremes which is universal. I enjoyed the haiku and often try to write something like this. all the best.
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Thanks a lot! The crane is still at work driving us all mad! I went for clay pot making class and came back 4 hours later, yet, the electricity is gone and to boot this silly crane is working like there's no tomorrow!
Charishma
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