Tonight stars weep.
The foxes creep.
And somewhere in the
darkness of my dreams,
a nation cries
in agony it seems;
but I'll just close my eyes.
Ignore their cries.
Sleep on.
Author notes
I wrote this many years ago, when I was about fifteen. I was angry at the time about the suffering in Bangladesh which seemed impossible to end.
A contest entry
- Short and Sweet by deathbyfrootloopsxx.
800 points, ended June 25, 2007, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow, you have a very powerful message in this piece... it is short and to the point. Really well written indeed.
Amazing that you were already that good at the age of 15!
Annie
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Wonderful
Great a piece, i am touched by the level of your imagination. This is wonderful. Keep this up. It is so nice, straight to the point. U have employed powerful imagery, Keep this up
Tonight stars weep.
Have a good day.
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the problem is complacency. sleeping on and ignoring the problem doesn't get anyone anywhere. great job writing about this at a young age
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it's lovely. a lullaby with the edge of sorrow, i like the combination of images. wouldn't change a thing!
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I had to read this poem twice to be able to capture the rhythm and rhyme scheme of it. You may want to break it up into a two-line section, then four-line, and end with a three-line. That is kind of a picky little detail and I'm only mentioning it because the flow and the tone of this poem are so well done. Beautiful message paired with beautiful language. I enjoyed this a lot.
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Thats the problem in some cases, closed eyes, but not sleeping, carry effort far from where if should be heading. An amazing Little piece, well done you.
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So many do and the corruption of this age builds for no one to ever get involved
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