Tiny patterned foot steps,
Echo from the past,
My everlasting memories,
Passing much too fast,
Miscarried opportunities,
Heavy on my heart,
Considerate oblivion,
Offers a new start.
Tiny patterned foot steps,
Echo from the past,
A simple non-existence,
My freedom at last.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Oh my god, this is amazing.
And Sam, guess who this is...
It's Kevan! Woohoo!
Lol, you probably completely forget who I am.
Oh well, late night chats are always good. I forget what we talked about like... a year and a half ago anyways.
I love this poem though. I think I'm gonna bookmark it, and show it to my friends <3
xox,
Kevan!
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hey there Kevan, how have you been. Glad you liked the poem.
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this is fab, powerful wording used making this write so effective, I love the line - Echo from the past, brilliant image.
well done xx -
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thanks for reading...and commenting. glad you liked it, oh and my apologies it took me so long to reply it can get pretty hectic sometimes.
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ooo this was great I liked how rhythmic your rhyming was, not sure if you were purposfully counting syllabels or not.. (you almost had perfect numbers!) I like Considerate Oblivion... you are probably the only poet I've ever seen use descriptors like that!!
Thank you for sharing! Write on!
J~~~~ -
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no, i wasnt counting anything... if i did something it was by accident... either that or my sub-conccious has it's own agender.. thanks very much for the comment.
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This is a great line, "Miscarried opportunities".. I think you could turn that into a whole poem itself. I love all of the implications that line could hold. Great write, good title too.
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i may just do that, if i can find the time. thanks for a great comment.
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oh wow so deep and beautiful theres an embedded sadness in this I love this so much great job
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thank you. happy that you enjoyed it.
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You have penned here the kind of poem I most enjoy.
It reminded me of my daughters baby shoes, dipped in brass, to last forever, someday someone will wonder who as a child wore them or if they were real or fake. you see why a reader could enjoy these words, and relate.
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im glad you liked it. thanks very much for your time. i hope to get round to reading some of yours soon.
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Hmm, this piece truly makes me curious as to the inspiration for it, as it could indeed fit in many senarios, altohugh a few pop to mind right off. Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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thank you, you see i was going to write a poem for a happy contest, however i was feeling a bit down and somewere along the line this poem emerged. if theres a particular part of the poem you don't understand message it to me and ill explain.
thanks for your time
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It short but the rhyme is swift. Very nice
Tiny patterned foot steps,
Echo from the past,
My everlasting memories,
Passing much to fast,
Miscarried opportunities,
Heavy on my heart,
Considerate oblivion,
Offers a new start.
This passage above is one of the best rhyme schemes I have read since I have been here.
KUDOS to you -
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a wonderful comment. thanks very much.
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A fleeting thought
I am reminded of an adage as follows: When you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans. Your poetry holds great promise; I hope to be reading it for years to come.
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thank you very much bob. kind words such as these shall be my insperation for years to come.
emeraldsodlier
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Wow this is really really good, I loved the lines "Considerate Oblivion, Offers a new start" Very well written.
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thanks. many happy writtings to you.
emeraldsoldier
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