The harsh taunting words
Bring to life my fallen hopes
Scars blink red as they come to existence
Showing my affection for death
The hazy lights glitter around me
Making the mess hard to realize
I watch as what we had dies
The dying embers fading away
My heart is sitting next to me
Broken in more then two pieces
Shattered by the complexity of love
I cry out for death
And all the uncertainties it holds
Forged by the carelessness of myself
I leave the world to its own destruction
A contest entry
- Worthy? by shirk.
500 points, ended June 2, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hood Winks~
I like the write ~ I think you did a beautiful job! Love life ~ the whole thing is complicated!
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This seesms...plain. To put into a word. I mean you've got some lovely imagry but it just doesn't seem like it fits with the poem.
I realy don't like it when poems have "I did this" Or "My..." etcetera...I think you should just understand that you're talking about yourself unless you blatently say "the bookshelf" or something like that.
Overall I think this is a good poem. Thank you for entering my contest
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I hope you win the contest.
You're very deserving.
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