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Cardiac Arrest

You like cucumbers
but despise green olives,
that’s why you yanked the cords
from the wall and smashed
every photo you could find.
You filled up the tub
with blistering water,
watching with lust
as it spilled over the edge,
wishing you had the nerve to do
the very same thing.

Purposely letting the popcorn burn,
smelling the smoke rise and
punch holes in the ceiling, hammering all
the crystal wine glasses you secretly hated.

Injecting the scissors into the too-blue couch
you’re sure he invited her to sit on,
pulling off the fake leather and making
dead clouds out of the stuffing.

Driving the stool-legs into the television set
the two of you used to watch sitcoms on,
thinking what you might’ve done had you
found a bat. Or his golf clubs.

Wondering how long her number had been
spray-painted into his mind like bad graffiti,
you laugh as the cotton curtains
fight with one another,
betting which one would suffocate first
from the sensational match work.

You spit on the ground
between the roses and weeds,
trying not notice how the emerald beads
around your neck
look an awful lot like olives.

Author notes

To all the women who have been cheated on...or to those who just hate olives~

(monkey, option 2)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • N.W. Clerk
    July 23, 2007

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    Exceptional

    Reading this poem was like swimming in the caribbean; the deeper I went, the more I saw, because the water did not loose any of it's lucidity. I especially took note of the line, "between the roses and the weeds," as it represented to me how the whole relationship had been slowly neglected, and that this was not something that just happened all at once. Excellent write!


  • glued-to
    June 14, 2007

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    very intriguing. i loved the imagery that you painted witht the olives and the description of what was happening as the poem progressed. I agree that its very hard to be cheated on, so i second your dedicatoin to all women who have been cheated on. although i'm not quite sure how olives relate, i loved that part

  • apples is love
    June 13, 2007

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    wow. this is so amazing. filled with vivid detail and emotion. has a sort of different rythem to it. really loved the last line. great work!
    ~APPLES~


  • Creatress
    June 10, 2007

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    Pickles are awesome...

    I just hate olives. Been with the same faithful asshole since I was 15 BUT I still throughly enjoyed this. Totally shocked by the ending. Couldn't predict how it would turn out, which is so a compliment. Totally original, loved it!
    Creatress

  • Raven Judge
    June 6, 2007

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    In commenting, we speak very often about word-images and their importance in poetry and good writing in general. I think this piece would make an excellent example for the argument. You have reminded your fellow authors how it is, indeed, possible to display emotions in words, an art form within art forms dying slowly among your contemporaries. The "boiling over" wish, the "injecting" of the scissors to create "dead clouds," and the "spray-painted" mind are all examples of how you have used pictures deftly in this delightful prose, to show, rather than tell.

    Emotion aside, what resounds from this effort is not the rage the subject feels towards the adulterer, but rather, as revealed wonderfully in the last five lines, the rage she (he, perhaps, today) feels towards herself. (We are not left with the impression that she plans to destroy her emerald necklace, hence the "trying not to notice" - a very interesting and worthwhile touch.)

    The brillance of this piece runs straight through from the title (heartbreak, written differently) to the very last word. It is a rare gem that I am delighted not to have missed.

    Thank you for your entry.

    ~Das


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    June 2, 2007

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    it was certianly different and unique.
    it was mature and the imagery in it was strong im not sure how it fit into our theme but no matter i still like it.
    being cheated on is hard espically if you really loved the person
    the poem had a wonderful flow and such heartfelt emotions in it
    well done.


  • Logans-Mommy
    May 31, 2007

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    this was good and very unique and i like that. it wasnt young sounding, it sounded mature and it was interesting. one time sa guy cheated on me and i took the monkey he gave me and ripped off its arms and its legs leaving the body and cut up his necklace with pliers and put the pieces in the body and tied it closed with an arm. i then took his fav cd's and carved fuck you, liar, and cheater in them. he tried calling me a bitch and i punched him in the face. so i know how you feel kinda....yea.. good luck in the contest.=]


  • Cat
    May 30, 2007

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    I'm sorry but the rules require that you tell a story in third person about a person or persons. -


    • zillion
      May 30, 2007
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      I think I see what you mean, after reading ome of the other poems. You wanted almost like a tale, right? I apologize for the misunderstanding.


    • zillion
      May 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      It is a story about a person in third person...

      or a moment, as the contest explained.

      Could you tell me what i didn't do right?

      Thanks.

1 - 10 of 10